Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman, a Hero in Her Service.

Immortal

2011-10-26T14:47:00.000-07:00

After our trip to Harbin where I spoke on Tantric Kabbalah, Cheryl and I went on a two week road trip. We went to Mount Hood and spent an elegant night at the Timberline Lodge. There for the first time in my life I stood at the edge of a glacier while bathing in the soft light of the Milky Way. Then we drove down the Columbia River Gorge, to the Oregon coast and then drove down the coasts of Oregon and California on our trip home.
We stopped at the Trees of Mystery, a forest of coastal redwoods that is thousands of years old. It is a special place, a place of presence where you as an individual feel both very small and also deeply connected to something that you cannot describe easily. There is something there in this grove that you feel when you are inside of it. Something in this forest takes away your standard operating conditions and procedures as you feel awe and wonder on an immense scale. A scale as large as these giant ancient trees is beyond ordinary life and stimulates the imagination.
We saw the immense body of a tree that after standing upright for three thousand years had fallen. Yet its trunk is not decaying but forms the base for several trees that stand up from it, a hundred feet straight into the air. There is no separation between individual trees and the collective forest. The roots of all the trees communicate with each other and share resources. The photosynthetic power of all these trees is shared with the entire redwood grove.
What affected me most is recorded in the painting I have titled Immortal. In the mid 1950’s right around the time of my birth, a grove of trees was cut down, and the stumps, enormous stumps that dwarf the size of my body, were left for dead. But they were not dead. Out of the apparently lifeless stump new growth appeared and now there are six tall redwood trees that ring this enormous stump.
Because the timing of the cut and new growth matches the length of my life, I felt a strange connection to this tree. Cheryl photographed the tree and later I created a painting of the tree. When I paint, I say my mantra and enter an altered state of consciousness that connects to the integration of Tiferet and Schechinah, the integration of divine masculine and divine feminine energy. This integration brings creativity and new understanding.
To me this tree demonstrates immortality. It is death and resurrection in the image of a ring of redwoods growing out of an enormous stump. The base of the stump is slowly turning into earth supporting ferns, lichen, with the smell of life all around. The image is a metaphor that is both truth itself and leads to truth.
What does it mean to be immortal? Does it literally mean to live forever? When human beings were less sophisticated and knew less science, we believed in a class of beings that were immortal. We called them gods and goddesses. First there was a monotheistic Great Mother Goddess. She was joined by a male god who died every year and was reborn and who fertilized the Great Mother in sacred sexual rites that were carried out by a post menopausal priestess and a younger lover. This was Hieros Gamos, the first sex magic. Then patriarchy came into being at the end of the Neolithic and the goddess was dominated and suppressed by a larger warrior male god, and broken into a pantheon of goddesses. Then the various pantheons of gods and goddesses were replaced by a monotheistic male God. This was first the God of the Hebrew people, and then the Christian God, and finally the Muslim God, the Gods of the Abrahamic peoples.
Then with the advent of the period of time known as the Enlightenment and the beginning of science with Galileo the belief in an immortal God eroded until Nietzsche declared God was dead. The resurrection of fundamental religious belief in both the Christian and Muslim worlds over the last thirty years has again aggravated the war between science and religion.
There is a great thirst within humanity for meaning and purpose that goes beyond the limitations of a single life span and the time and space we find ourselves occupying. Every generation must utilize all the knowledge and wisdom that is available. Therefore the solutions of the past do not work in the present and we must create our own path to immortality.

To me my painting represents liminal time. During liminal time the experience of time goes away so that you find yourself completely engaged in living life, in the creative inspiration of something greater than yourself. You are forced to utilize every aspect of your being which evokes both wholeness and then holiness. This has been a great year for me as I have found more and more activities that connect me to liminal time, which is when I experience the Schechinah, the divine feminine. This happens during sex magic. When I swim the Schechinah enters the water and I find myself within Her body. I hear Her during my creative pursuits of painting with oil paint or writing in divine service. I feel Her when I meditate whether that is part of sex magic or alone. I am engulfed by Her when I am awed and feel wonderment in Her creation of nature. I sense Her when I look at art created by other human beings throughout history. During all of these experiences I become immortal, outside of both the linear progression and cyclic nature of time and space. I encourage you to explore and discover immortality. Immortality is about loss, the loss of fear.

Love and light,
Stuart/Shemesh

Talk on Tantric Kabbalah at Harbin Hot Springs

2011-08-12T13:26:00.000-07:00

Cheryl and I, attended a conference at Harbin Hot Springs, the last weekend in July. I gave my talk on Saturday morning. It was one of the two times when there were two speakers giving talks at the same time and people had to choose which one to attend. Sufi dancing was the simultaneous talk so my listeners wanted me to move outside near the hot tub pool so as not to compete with the music. About thirty people moved outside with me.

I had heard of Harbin before but had never been there. The clothing optional conference setting was a wonderful experience. I am by nature a nudist but had never been nude with a group of strangers before, usually only being naked in my backyard or suburban Simi Valley home with my life partner. Her grandchildren all know to call before they come over so I can be dressed when they arrive. Although I am unconventional by nature I have learned to accept enough of society’s rules so that I can remain hidden and unharmed.

This was the first time I had ever given a talk on Tantric Kabbalah sky clad and there were members of my audience in the large communal hot tub who were sky clad as well. There were no clothes for me to hide behind and my talk was equally as revealing. Rather than starting with the safe academic subject of evolution where my knowledge can be a shield, I started with my own personal sexual history. Tantric Kabbalah is the product of my response to my own sexual history so this makes the most sense.

I started with my precocious sexual knowledge at age five, when I was found performing cunnilingus on my neighbor a five year old girl. My parents response was very enlightened and not punishing or shaming. I was told that what I did was normal and even good but that I was too young for this and needed to wait until I was grown up. No one asked why I knew what five year olds are not supposed to know. This unasked question would wait until I was in inpatient treatment at age thirty-four.

Next, I shared about my discovery at age eleven as I was fully immersed in premature puberty of a book in my home called The Sensuous Man. In this book, I read about the importance of developing ejaculatory control through exercises and about developing strong tongue muscles for use in cunnilingus. With the exuberance of youth, I threw myself into these exercises to great effect. When I lost my virginity in my sophomore year of college at age 17 I had already developed mastery of ejaculation. To me this seemed normal. My hand does not do things that I do not want it to do, why should my penis?

In college, it was clear that I wanted sex more than the young women with whom I went to school. It was not until I was living in Manhattan during medical school that I found a group of women who wanted sex as much as I did and who appreciated my control. These were post-menopausal women who were smart, educated, experienced, very sexual and with whom I got along with splendidly. There was no pressure upon me to be monogamous, and I was able to be myself, my natural self.

At the conference, I went on to share about my sexual trauma at age 2 ¾ that had been repressed from my conscious memory through disassociation, how my disassociation into my intellect had kept me from the normal developmental stages of childhood and how I had to navigate them as an adult starting at age thirty-four. I shared how abreacting the emotional pain of my trauma had been freeing and allowed the development of a full emotional life and then the brain function of the right cerebral hemisphere and integration of the fractured parts of my psyche including my inner child and then my shadow.

I shared how this integration of my shadow resulted in spiritual gifts such as the natural release of vibratory energy from my lingam and hands and how I learned to control this through meditation and mantra. I then described how my own personal experience reflected my favorite biological adage that Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny, meaning that my sexual development lead to spiritual development as an individual just as it has for our species.

Then I shared my mantra with the group and how the expanded orgasms of women and especially post menopausal women are used to integrate Divine Masculine Energy Tiferet with Divine Feminine Energy the Schechinah and how to send this integrated and unified light out into the world through the crown chakra for healing. I also explained my understanding of the brain as a quantum generator using the Schlemiel/Schlimazel archetypes to show how individuals who have not integrated their conscious and unconscious minds do this unconsciously to their own detriment and that the enlightened way to do this is to integrate one’s psyche so that your ego becomes the conductor in alignment with your soul and the Divine, freed of the fear of injury and death and working for our evolutionary future.

I also gave my personal understanding of the history of the Divine Feminine.

I was gratified at how well received my talk was, how many books I sold, but then something happened that was truly shocking to me. So many of the men at the conference expressed to me their appreciation and understanding of my life’s experience. I connected to men in a way I had never done before, without competition.

I have been able to share the integrated and unified light of Tiferet and Schechinah with women in a sexual way for a long time, and can also share it with women and children in a healing and non-sexual way. This was the first time I ever was able to share in this way with men. It made me very happy.

The Secret Divine Source of Creativity Driving the Evolution of Human Animals into Human Beings is God Herself

2011-07-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

From 190,000 years to 50,000 years ago, our species lived more like our animal ancestors than their human descendants. The hallmarks of human culture: art, spirituality and technology, appear 35,000 to 50,000 years ago. The creation of culture remade the human animal into human beings. Divinity is the secret source of this human creativity.
It is only the rare individual who connects to a creative wellspring that most others cannot touch. Abraham Joshua Heschel was one of these special human beings. He took issue with the common idea that we should fear God and that this fear of Divine punishment determines human behavior. Heschel believed the ideal relationship to the sacred, is one of awe and wonder. He said that without this wonder, the world becomes a marketplace. In the marketplace, the only value is greed. Money confers the power to control others and valuable resources.
Wonder and awe are feminine qualities, while fear and punishment are masculine. Once violence has been demonstrated only the threat of violence is necessary to control behavior. An angry male deity is an effective motivating device that diverts attention from the marketplace and the inequality produced.
Killing has been done in the name of God. The real purpose in killing is the desire for wealth and power. God has no reason to kill. Why should God kill and destroy what God Herself created? How could the creator of all things have a need for some of Her creation and then be motivated to kill for it? If She needed something wouldn’t it make more sense to just create? Human beings who are disconnected from the creativity of the Divine Feminine are unable to produce innovative ideas. Without creativity the human path to wealth and power is violence.
There is no Divine need to control human beings as God Herself gave human beings free will, deliberately giving up control. How ironic that power hungry humans seek to take away from other human beings what all religions acknowledge as the great Sacred gift to humanity.
So if God Herself is not the urge to coerce and kill others, who is She? She is the inspiration to produce all things of value, beauty and importance. God Herself is the Muse. To fulfill our destiny of being made in God’s image we must also create as She creates. The difference between the human animal and a human being is creativity. The market is the hunting ground of the cruel human animal.
Technology is one of the three great gifts of Divine inspiration putting to use scientific discoveries in new ways. It gives us the power to make things, to produce food and energy creating wealth. Technology has been separated from art and spirituality. This dichotomy turns the gift into a curse. While a human hand may be kept from striking by mercy, there is no mercy in technology.
The world we live in today is a global marketplace where only technology is valued and the artistic and spiritual gifts of Divinity are either ignored, or given superficial lip service as part of the control mechanism society uses to maintain order, especially for the masses. There is very little creativity in the world today. To understand this absence we must go back and understand how we first became human beings in the great leap forward in our evolutionary past roughly 35,000 to 50,000 years ago. If we can understand how Divinity first inspired us, it will be possible to listen again to this inspiring voice. When we can hear the Divine Muse, we can reclaim our artistic and spiritual nature making us back into human beings from the human animal to which we have reverted.

The best place to hide a secret is in plain sight. When everyone walks past a secret, the secret is kept. The secret of how humanity was first inspired by Divine Presence resulting in the creation of art, spirituality and technology is hiding in plain sight and ignored. That secret is the sexuality of post menopausal women or crones.
The secret of human sexuality is hidden in our society because it is so male dominated, and therefore mistakenly believes that sex exists for men and male pleasure. From this point of view young pretty nubile women are sexually attractive and aging heavier women are not. Movies and television glorify the sexual attraction of young actresses, and advertising places the sexually desirable maiden form of the goddess into the marketplace.
Sex is about a penis penetrating a wet hole and thrusting as fast as possible until ejaculating. This is masturbation inside of a woman’s body. Women are objectified and are valued for their prettiness, not their intelligence or talent. Women are also valued for their ability to produce children therefore relieving a man’s fear of death by producing heirs for what he has managed to accumulate. Men control women and access to their body by marriage, which gives men legal possession.
I am a practicing kabbalist and what I do I call Tantric Kabbalah. In this path I receive inspiration from the Divine Feminine, from the Schechinah. What I hear from Her is unique. If you travel on a path through the layers of your own consciousness and you come into Her presence you will hear something that no other human can hear.
I have received visions from the Schechinah that I have devoted my life to bring into manifestation. I received my first vision in the summer of 1997 (fourteen years ago). Primarily since that time I have used sex magic, the expanded orgasms of my women partners to integrate Tiferet and Schechinah and send that energy out into the world for healing and manifestation.
Six years ago I began a relationship with my current tantric crone goddess and have been focusing on crone goddess energy ever since. In the last year I have also discovered Zen swimming and the magic of painting in oils. When I paint in oils it is more sexual for me now than sex magic is.
The integration of the meditative state of swimming within the body of the Schechinah as she enters the water of the pool, with the magic of painting (the painting itself is the record of the magic), with actual sex magic all connect and work together in unifying Tiferet and Schechinah. The unifying element is my mantra for divine union and orgasm the Hebrew prayer Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad. This activity is what activates the natural function of my brain as a quantum generator. This is done by aligning my ego Stuart with my soul Shemesh and that integrated complex allows the Divine, the Schechinah to work through me to manifest Her intention, Her visions. Divinity is the observer in quantum mechanics, the only consciousness that exists which determines the results of all quantum experiments.
The Schechinah has been heard by different people in different times and been given different names. I have received (kabbalah) the information that there is continuity between ancient times and today. The top painting is titled Schechinah Series number five, Parvati and the Paleolithic Venus. The paleolithic venus as I have painted her represents the integration of maternal nurturing unconditional love with intense sexual orgasmic love. This integration is one of the goals of the sex magic of tantric kabbalah. It is my belief received in kabbalistic union with the Schechinah, that the consciousness of the paleolithic venus was the source of inspiration for sexually active post menopausal women received during their ancient experienced states of expanded orgasm that inspired the creation of human culture in the paleolithic period making us into human beings from human animals.

The second painting is titled the Schechinah Series number one: Magma Amrita. It is a recod of a very powerful personal magical experience.
Love and light,

Stuart/Shemesh

Ravens Circle the Shaman's House

2010-11-18T08:08:00.000-08:00

An oasis of nature lives in our backyard in Simi Valley. It began by putting out a couple of bird feeders. Sparrows and finches came. As time went on the birds got bigger and fatter and the colors of the finches yellows and reds became more intense. The bird bath became a place of splashing and joyous frolicking.

Then the squirrels came. They could not get into the bird feeders but they knocked them down. Their beautiful eyes and their acrobatic leaps from tree limb to trunk to ground were so captivating that I placed peanuts on the ground for them. This resulted in their coming around every day waiting to be fed, sitting on the yard furniture, looking inside the house, and shaking their full tails. They were not satisfied with my peanuts. But they didn't stop knocking over the bird feeders until they were broken. After a few attempts at fixing the bird feeders I stopped. The squirrels loved the black sunflower seeds in the bird seed too much. I gave in to the squirrels and placed the bird seed into another bird bath that was deeper, the birds preferring the shallow bird bath to bathe in.

Soon many birds were in the backyard. There were doves, and mocking birds, and blue jays, once there was a cardinal, twice a hawk has visited. And then there are the ravens. I was not sympathetic to the ravens and at first I would enter the yard when I saw them, making them leave. After time I gave in to them and saw how intelligent they were. When I would first put out the peanuts in the morning the ravens were the first ones there. They conducted aerial surveillance and communicated with each other to ensure their share. The squirrels were second. The squirrels preferred the sunflower seeds anyway, and they looked so cute eating the tiny seeds.

Then I noticed that the ravens would take the peanuts to the bird bath and soak them there before flying away with them. Usually the ravens did not eat them there in the yard, unlike the squirrels who sat there with their little paws rotating the nuts and licking them before biting into them and eating them right in front of me. They know I am watching them and they have a comfort zone that I cannot enter without their jumping up the tree, although they allow me to water the plants without disturbing them. Once I decided to fully accept the ravens, I stopped putting the peanuts on the ground. Instead I put them right into the water of the bird bath. These birds are smart enough to recognize their own reflection, the only bird known to do so, and joining some primates, dolphins, and elephants as the only members of the animal kingdom to be so intelligent.

Once I placed the peanuts into the water the ravens understood that they are welcome. No longer are they thieves stealing the squirrels food, but they are accepted. Their big black wings shadow the yard as they circle and cue up in a line, just like the smaller birds cue up for their turn. The small birds stay much closer to each other, with up to twenty small birds inside the pile of seeds, and fifty or more on the trees. When you drive towards our house you can sometimes see the ravens circling above the house and moving from tree to tree to roof to trellis as they wait their turn. They still do not stay in the yard when I enter but they do not go very far. I find that this little jungle of nature brings me more happiness than I ever could have expected.

The ravens say I deserve to be happy. You could learn something from such a smart bird.

Fat: A Conspiracy to Control Women

2010-08-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Fat is a curse word. It wasn’t always that way. We tend to think of ourselves and our own society rather than in more universal evolutionary terms. In our modern American society, women almost always are made to feel bad about their bodies which makes them feel bad about themselves. They feel judged because they are judged. The standards for womanly beauty in our world since the 1960’s results in the overwhelming number of women feeling left out of the beautiful group. Women who are not seen as beautiful and who do not feel beautiful, do not feel wanted or desirable. Love does not appear accessible to the majority of women in our society. There is a very powerful connection evolutionarily between feeling beautiful and feeling loved. This is a result of how human brains evolved, which means that the survival of the species determined this state.
Much of this thinking about women’s desirability is the result of our patriarchal culture. Patriarchy takes away women’s power through dominating and subjugating women. Violence against women is the most obvious way this takes place. Domestic abuse and rape doesn’t just affect the individual victims it affects all women. Women know that they need protection and are forced to make major sacrifices in order to receive protection. Sounds like the Mafia doesn’t it? In many Islamic cultures the domination of women is so extreme that it includes clitorectomies of girl children and teen-agers, and death by stoning for adultery. Adultery is defined as a woman exercising choice over her own body’s sexuality....

The source of women’s power is their sexuality. Women are unique in the animal kingdom because of menses and menopause. Unlike other animals women have the ability to be sexual whenever they want to be sexual. No other female animal has the biological ability to choose to be sexual. Unlike the rest of the animal kingdom sexuality in human beings is not tied to procreation. In fertile young women sexuality is separate from procreation all but 2.5 days out of the month. In post menopausal women sexuality is completely severed from procreation. The birth control pill extended to young women the freedom that evolution has given to post menopausal women. This freedom is the complete control over her own sexuality.
We have been on this planet as homo sapiens sapiens for 190,000 years. According to Dr. Leonard Shlain, it was menses that made us into human beings, as the evolutionary response to maternal mortality from increasing brain size. Menopause probably evolved later. From the characteristics of post menopausal women myself and others have deduced that all human culture was created by these tantric crone goddesses. Prior to writing, all human wisdom was transmitted orally. Since post menopausal women live much longer than men they were always the eldest of any tribe. Their memories were the richest knowledge resource of the group and ultimately created and shaped human culture. This appeared roughly 50,000 years ago in the appearance of hunter gathering cultures all over the worldThe very first human sculptures are known as goddesses. They are very large breasted, fat stomached, and have very exaggerated and prominent female genitalia or yonis. The first goddess sculptures are either headless or faceless. Since our faces are the marker of our individuality, these goddesses do not represent individuals but a universal consciousnessThese are the artistic representation of fat, post menopausal women who were extremely sexual and orgasmic.
Since we now know that orgasm and meditation share specific neurological characteristics, it becomes clear that human spirituality and the sexuality of fat post menopausal women are linked.
From 50,000 years ago to 7,000 years ago, the Divine Feminine and the right brain ruled the world. Since the creation of patriarchy, the left brain and misogynistic male priests have set the standards.
In the Western World women have much more freedom than in other patriarchal cultures. They do not face the prospect of clitorectomies, stoning for adultery or honor murders. There are laws protecting women against domestic abuse and rape. However the shaming of women over their bodies still controls women. Shaming women takes away from them the feeling of being beautiful and being loved that is their evolutionary inheritance.
In order for women to regain control of their bodies and reclaim their sexual power it is necessary that we as a society stop being abusive and shaming to women who are fat. At the roots of human sexuality are fat women who were the sexiest and most orgasmic of all. Age was not viewed as making a woman undesirable. Fat, post menopausal women achieved an altered state of consciousness during prolonged expanded orgasms that integrated maternal nurturing unconditional love with intense sexual orgasmic love. This state of consciousness brought tremendous creativity into the world manifesting as human culture. Our survival as a species is more tied to cultural evolution than biological evolution.
It is time to return to our human roots of sexuality, creativity, nurturing and love. The vast majority of women look just like those ancient goddess sculptures as they approach menopause. Honoring tantric crone goddess’ sexuality and spirituality will return love and beauty to the world. All women need to feel loved and to feel beautiful or we will go extinct as a species.

Starving Jewish Faces Looking into the Eyes of their Nazi Persecutors

2010-08-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

I am a sensitive man and remember the first time I saw documentary footage of the Holocaust that had been shot by American soldiers after they liberated the concentration camps. Sitting in my basement in Little Neck one weekend my eyes recoiled from the greatest horror in history. I was old enough to have read about the Holocaust and had seen many World War II movies but none of that could match the sickening power of emaciated skeletons of my own people covered with residual flesh and skin sliding head down a ramp into a mass grave. No other film and none of my own experiences ever affected me as strongly and that includes being present at the autopsies of dead babies when I worked as a deanor during medical school. That is until last night.

I went to the Laemmle theater to see the motion picture “A Film Unfinished”. I knew it might affect me strongly, and I knew it might not be a great date night film, but after reading reviews in the N.Y. Times and L.A. Times I had to see something that I had never seen before. This documentary made by Israeli director Yael Hersonski has as its core film footage that was shot by the Nazi’s in the Warsaw ghetto in May 1942.

The reels of film were found in a concrete vault hidden in a German forest, without sound or credit. Some of this film had found its way into other documentaries perhaps including the first one I saw years ago. What propelled Hersonski to make this film was the later discovery of out-takes that show how many of the scenes were indeed staged. Combined with the voice over of words taken from the diary of Adam Czerniakow, (the head of the Warsaw Ghetto’s Jewish Council with specific references to the filming) the “Twilight Zone” like setting of Nazi’s documenting their own mass murder for a future Nazi world is revealed after 68 years.

Trying to show that rich Jews were insensitive to starving Jews the Nazi’s staged parties with champagne and rich food. Watching these Jews eat their last good meal while being filmed only a few weeks before they are sent to their deaths in Treblinka is not the eeriest sight. There is a staged Bris of a starving malnourished baby boy. There is a staged view of naked men and then naked women going into a Mikvah. As horrific as all of these scenes are, they are not what affected me the most.

The human face evolved to express emotions. The faces of starving Jews looking into the cameras of their Nazi persecutors were recorded in prolonged close-ups. Have you ever stared down someone who was starving you to death? Obviously not. The Nazi’s had no shame about mass murder. Literally thousands of individuals took obscene pleasure at murdering Jews. They did this because of hatred and because they were afraid of people they had demonized into something less than human. Looking into this man’s face reveals his humanity. All mass murderers deny the humanity of their victims. This face is intensely human and articulate as he looks into the eyes of the camera man who is dispassionately recording his fate as if he was an animal.

I could not look away from these staring faces and I left the theater in a state of shell shock. No skinny actor in a movie is as emaciated as someone who has digested all of his own flesh to stay alive and is now lying in a bed too tired to get up. You see the victims in their beds opening their eyes and reaching for a piece of bread. Then you see their bodies lying naked on the street..

I had to go home and go to sleep, because in sleep is when my mind and brain reset themselves. It was all I could do to bear the pain of watching. I have been planning to write a blog soon on tolerance and passion, and the images of this film were meant to percolate through my subconscious mind before I write. There are no words that can compare to these images. You will never forget these faces if you dare to see this film. You will never understand our shared humanity if you don’t.
Mysticism states that time is an illusion, a necessary construct to allow us to live in linear time and space. At Passover, Jews are taught to think as if we were present in Egypt. The eyes that looked back at this starving Jewish faces did not have compassion, but contempt. When I looked into these faces, I said a prayer for them, giving them love and light, and sending to them the compassion they never received in life. Go look into their faces and give them your compassion and empathy and treat them as the human beings they were.

Separation and Integration

2010-08-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

We feel separate and alone. We know we are alive, we touch, taste and smell the world and feel battered some times by how the world responds to us. We try to assuage others, and find a place for ourselves in some kind of community that recognizes us or values us, whether this is a work community, a belief community or family. We observe others so closely, listening for nuance in their voices, watching the lines in their faces dance to the sound of their words, watching the inconsistencies, and listening for lies. The disparity between the story and the action not only disillusions us, it disparages our sense of self, making us feel disjointed and dismayed.
This is the modern world where the individual has few possible alliances, and the struggle to be useful is not quite Sisyphean but still bears all the relentless weight of entropy, and combines with the burden of aging and its slow decay, the body’s self repairs gradually losing ground. Worst of all is the sardonic laughter of the clown, barely beyond the edges of our mind, letting you know that no one cares, that it doesn’t matter whether we live or die, who could care less if we died. Where is meaning in the face of this anomic separation?
This is the surface of life in the early twenty first century. Yet despite all the obvious experiential lessons of meaninglessness and true suffering that no one seems to listen or care about, none of the above is true. Separation is the illusion, isolation and meaninglessness is a construct of our nervous system when we focus on the outer world that rushes by so fast and dangerously.
It is in hiddenness that we find love, the secret sustenance that nourishes the world in unseen streams as necessary to life as water. Water is life. Evolutionary science tells us that as soon as there was water on earth life appeared quickly, if not immediately. I look out my immaculately clear window upon the birds cavorting in the bath I filled for them, flying from bath to branch to wall, letting the sun dry them, flying to the mound of seed that sustains them. There is joy in life. Pure happiness and joy that little birds understand but that we seem to have forgotten.
The surface world is so loud, and its chattering cacophony cannot be ignored, unless we can turn from that world into another. There is something precious and rare called liminal time. It occurs in different ways, a walk in a park, looking at animals, being awed by nature, in all creative expressions, and of course for me happens in mantra and magic. Art, nature, and magic all share this synchronous characteristic of time changing its flow. You are so caught up in the experience that you cease to watch yourself and time stops, until all of a sudden it returns and so much time has passed. Then you return to the surface world. This is a characteristic of our neurobiology, and experiencing liminal time lets us know that we are beautiful and we are loved, and that we have love to share and gifts to give.
This experience of liminal time is where our humanity resides. When we embrace our humanity and connect to our greater selves, the drama of the surface world can quiet and now we are not caught up in the story that tells us that we are nothing, that we are chattel, that we are a tiny insignificant cog in an economy where corporations own everything and our value depends on what we can buy and consume, and upon our position and status in a world with very particular beliefs and very serious rules that conflict with one another.
There appears to be two main points of view in the world today. One view was forged two thousand years ago when Hellenism and Judaism banged together and the life of a Jewish prophet became the basis for the new religion of Christianity. In this view reason is secondary to faith, and humanity is small. A spiritual life is of the greatest importance, but you must accept rules on faith and must ignore the consequences of the teachings of science while living within the world that science has created.
Alternatively there is a materialist scientific view that disparages faith and religion as madness or stupidity. Yet here too humanity is very small, dwarfed by a universe that is uncaring and unjust.
While one view is old and inconsistent with knowledge the other is unbalanced and very inhuman. Our task is to renew human creativity and create a new point of view that incorporates the best of both and allows the rest to fall away, without prejudice and without rancor. Within ourselves we need to integrate science, spirituality and sexuality into a whole that we can live with, satisfies our deepest desires and acknowledges reality. In this new creation we humans can be both large and important and paradoxically humble at the same time.
Many spiritual traditions see the world justifiably as a world of suffering and the goal is to learn and grow and become enlightened so one can escape the world. Escape is also the root goal of addiction. The Jewish spiritual tradition and the tradition of the Bodhisattva is for the enlightened to stay in the world to teach and heal. The Bodhisattva and the Lamed Vavnik both endure the world of suffering because they can feel the spirit world, the world of liminal time, more than they feel the surface world. Once connected to an infinite source of love and light, their hearts become an ever enlarging conduit of healing, freely giving to others. They remain individualized and unique while being universal and loving. Loving is effortless.
The most important gift we can ever give one another is to be present with all of our Self (the Jungian concept of the enlarged Self which is similar to the Soul) and to listen to one another. Suffering becomes even more painful when no one listens or cares. Once we understand that we are all connected to each other at a very deep and profound though mysterious level, then listening to another’s story of suffering begins a sacred process of healing.
If this world is really a place of learning then the key question seems to be how to deal with our egos which experience the world as if we are separate and alone?
For Freud, the answer was for the conscious mind to discover and explore the unconscious mind. For Jung the ego must discover and come into alignment with the greater Self. For the Kabbalist we must discover the levels of soul known as nefesh, ruach and neshamah, experiencing our own soulfullness will paradoxically satisfy our ego’s need for importance while inspiring service to something greater than ourselves. All of these answers share the same idea, that we are here on a path of discovery that connects the individual with the universal.
All of us must do this work on our own. The answer of how to heal the world is to heal our own selves, and no one else can perform that miracle for us. No guru has our answer, no spiritual tradition has a monopoly on Truth, and no one else’s path will work for us. At the same time, no miracle is required as we already have everything we need, as long as we have the desire and are willing to commit our lives to this purpose. Ego does not need to die, we need our ego to self direct ourselves, we just need to grow up and become mature. When we live in two worlds at the same time, we cannot be blackmailed in this world anymore. The key is to dedicate our lives to truth and allow ourselves to become a conduit for love and healing in this world. The source of love and light, of nurturance and creativity, whom Tantric Kabbalah calls the Schechinah but who listens and responds to whatever name is deeply heartfelt, is always available and waiting. Read, listen, and research but finally we must fly to Her on our own.
And how will we know when we have reached Her? Then we will be surrounded, suffused, and penetrated by love, we will enjoy creative flowering like never before and have wondrous gifts to give to the world. Hearts overflowing with love and bearing creative gifts to share with the world do not crave disparate wealth and the power to control others.

This poem by aspiring poetess Olivia Sill shares my theme.

leikur sér við heita loga eldsins Býr til regnboga
by Olivia Sill
The beats flow into
my
ears
and through to
my
head
changing
my
mind
set, letting it flow and take over
the bass kicks than drops leaving
my
heart
following than stops.
desire hotter than fire seeps into
my
soul
lingering like a lover left yearning for the last kiss
picking up now, the rhythm moves through
my
body
like the memories of yesterdays past that move all too quickly
surrendering completely as the beat moves taking control
I quickly unwind trapped within the confinements of
your
mind
release yourself and you just might find
that life
isn't all too difficult when you let go of
your
illusions

Merkel Cell Carcinoma, Melanoma, and the Berlin Hypothesis

2010-07-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

When I was in sixth grade the two sixth grade classes would come together in one room and Mr. Eckhart would teach science. As an adult I note Mr. Eckhart’s name is almost the same as Meister Eckhart the medieval philosopher and mystic. Surely the lesson he taught that day was a mystical oneScience has always been my best subject, and Mister Eckhart posed a question based on the science he had just taught. Two different students posed an answer to his question. Then he did something unusual for a science class, he took a vote The vote was about 60% answer A to 40 % answer B. While I don’t remember either the question or the answer I knew the answer was B, I was certain of it because I understood the science involved Then Mister Eckhart took another vote and this time it was 75% to 25%. Then another vote and another vote and another vote, and each time the majority increased until I raised the only hand in the room for answer B. He did this three times more and I never changed my vote. Then Mister Eckhart simply said the correct answer is B.
When I was fourteen I started working in hospitals during the summer. My first summer I worked in the radiology department at a small Brooklyn hospital. I worked there again the next summer. After that I worked in the biochemistry department of the hospital where my father worked. I enjoyed that much more, initially mixing up reagents, then spinning blood specimens in a centrifuge, and then learning how to use a flame photometer to analyze blood electrolytes. I got along very well with the regular employees. We talked sports and I played chess with some of them, went out to lunch with them and felt very comfortable there. The third summer I was there the hospital workers union 1199 went out on strike My father was an administrator at the hospital which had many chronically ill patients in long term care. I crossed the picket line with my father and for the duration of the strike I mostly cared for these patients, feeding them and washing them. As the strike became nastier my father and I slept on cots in the hospital. I remember that my father told me that the head administrator was describing the morale of the hospital as excellent. He told three stories of patients telling him how they were getting better care now than they usually did. I recognized all three stories because I was the one who gave the care.
I felt good about what I had done during the strike but was unprepared for what happened when it was over and I was back in the lab. One of the radical union leaders worked in the same lab. I had talked politics with him before, and remembered our discussion of the French revolution. We disagreed about the “Reign of Terror” and whether murder was justifiable.
My first morning back I found myself face to face with him. I was 19 years old, full of hubris and very strong. I was between my junior and senior years of college and had already done well on the Medical College Admission Tests and knew that I would be going to medical school somewhere.
I told him that I was very proud of what I had done as a caretaker during the strike and that I did not think very highly of people who would let sick old debilitated people lie in their own filth. He did not take my challenge and backed away from me. The union had a meeting about me however and after that day, no one, none of my friends that I had worked with for three summers talked to me for the last six weeks I worked there. It was my first experience of social isolation.
Living your life forward is very different from reminiscing over the course of your life. These two episodes of my life prepared me for my unusual journey. They taught me to stick by my principles and gave me the strength to endure social punishment when I knew I was in the right.
In my autobiography Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service I have written about my kabbalistic vision that lead to my research hypothesis. The Berlin Hypothesis is that apocrine glands, the unique sweat glands in the armpit and groin, are diagnostic and that there is a protein cancer biomarker waiting to be discovered in the apocrine sweat of a cancer patient.
After I had documented that breast cancer biomarker Ca 15-3 was highly concentrated in the apocrine sweat of a familial breast cancer patient I convinced a local and modern proteomics lab to run a few specimens for me. A friend of mine talked to a relative of hers who had Merkel Cell Carcinoma. He agreed to donate a specimen of apocrine sweat. It takes a long time to collect apocrine sweat specimens so we had a lot of time to talk. I also collected my own apocrine sweat as a control specimen.
We live in a very capitalistic country and the lust for profit determines most behavior. I was fortunate to have my specimens analyzed for free so I had to wait while the specimens were frozen. My volunteer with Merkel Cell Carcinoma died of his disease while his specimens were sitting in a freezer.
I got to see the specimens when they were defrosted and desiccated after being frozen for six months. Both the cancer specimen and my control specimen had a white precipitate, but the cancer specimen was full of a black tarry substance that was voluminous and absent in the control specimen. Here in front of my eyes was the biomarker I predicted. The fact that it was black suggested that it had already decomposed after being frozen for six months. This made sense to me, as the product of the apocrine gland is deposited on the hair shafts of the axilla and groin where heat and bacteria break them down into volatile compounds that can be detected through olfaction. His specimen did show a patented tumor stroma protein but no new biomarker. The lab lost interest soon after and my cancer research has not progressed in five years.
It didn’t matter that I could not get a grant to fund my research, it didn’t matter that no one wanted to collaborate with me, or listened to me. I had seen with my own eyes evidence for my biomarker. It was there in the Merkel Cell Carcinoma specimen and I would never give up my quest. Sometimes all I could do to continue my quest was to survive and keep going.
I wrote my autobiography, and a second book on Tantric Kabbalah, and started my newsletter, and waited for opportunity. Surprisingly opportunity came not in the search for a cancer biomarker but with marijuana.
Following the path of synchronicity, (see the July-August newsletter), I have conducted a six month experiment with a lab in Mississippi that analyzed apocrine sweat and blood specimens for THC in volunteers (mostly medical marijuana patients) in various stages of marijuana intoxication. The data supports the hypothesis and a scientific paper is being written and readied for publication in a peer reviewed scientific paper. Not only is this significant for the development of a non-invasive screening test for acute marijuana intoxication but by supporting the Berlin Hypothesis should get me some leverage to find a lab to analyze my specimens for a cancer biomarker.
Synchronicity has a sense of humor that can be macabre. I have had on my back a nevus (mole) which has developed a red inflammatory ring around it. There was no change in the color or the edge of the mole but it was still worrisome. The morning that I went to have it biopsied I collected an apocrine sweat specimen from myself since it was possibly going to be a melanoma.
I called a lab that I had worked with in San Diego in the past about analyzing my specimen, even though this lab would not allow me to keep any patent rights. They never called me back. The dermatologist did not think the nevus was going to be malignant but it was still possible and we would wait for the lab result.
My apocrine sweat specimen sat in the refrigerator. At first it was just turbid but after a couple of days there was the same white precipitate. It took 12 days for me to get the pathology report of melanoma in situ. I contacted two labs in Los Angeles that I had some contact with in the past but again no response. Then I looked at the specimen. After almost two weeks of refrigeration the white precipitate was joined by little black specks. In my opinion the same biomarker from the Merkel Cell Carcinoma patient in degraded black form had made its appearance in my own apocrine sweat now that I am a melanoma patient. The patient with metastatic disease had much more of the biomarker than the patient with cancer in situ. Again this fits with the hypothesis. The apocrine sweat specimen is probably too old to analyze now, and I must wait.
Am I stubborn or demonstrating perseverance? Is my belief in my own mind and hypothesis a form of narcissism or is it based on supportive scientific data? In my dreams I go forward into the future where my visions are realized, but in the morning I wake up and still no one listens. Perhaps I should change my name to Cassandra.

Medication and Women's Sexual Desire

2010-06-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

The New York Times front page from June 17, 2010 has an article by Duff Wilson titled Big Push of Pill to Marketplace Stirs Debate on Sexual Desire. This is fascinating. On page ten is another article by Namo Abdulla and Timothy Williams titled Kurdistan is Criticized Over Cutting of Genitals. The group, Human Rights Watch cited the fact that 73% of Kurdistan women over age 14 have suffered genital mutilation or clitorectomies and urged the Kurdistan government to make that practice illegal. Now perhaps the connection is not obvious, but both these stories share a common theme; women with no control over their own sexuality.

Professor Leonore Tiefer a professor and sex therapist thinks the marketing of a pill to increase female sexual desire goes too far. She says,"Women's sex lives are often a struggle, a disappointment, an archipelago of regret." Her point is that women's sex lives are very complicated and a simple pill is not going to fix all that is wrong. The roots of female sexual dysfunction are to be found in our culture, not our biology.

The research studies that German pharmaceutical company Boehringer conducted showed an increase in "sexually satisfying events" up to 4.5 per month with the medication compared to 2.7 per month in the control group, and 3.7 per month in the placebo group. The two studies conducted over 24 months consisted of 1,323 premenopausal women with diminished libido and who were distressed by their sexual anorexia. The idea is that this pill will do for women what Viagra does for men. The American market for Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra is about 2 billion dollars per year and the estimate is that a pill to increase female sexual desire would generate the same income.

What this really means is that there are a number of husbands who would like their wife's sexual desire to increase. What could be easier than giving her a pill?

There is a much deeper problem here, as Dr. Tiefer's comments suggest. Why should women's sexual lives be a source of disappointment? The answer is that our society and the values that are emphasized in our cultural myths are very harsh on women and women's sexuality. That is the area that needs work, not another drug to manage our brain chemistry and make a huge profit.

What stories am I talking about? We can start with the idea of a virgin birth that is at the heart of the Christian myth of Jesus. Many pagan heroes (Perseus, Hercules) were demigods, the product of Zeus' sexual blessing of human women. They were literally the son of God (Zeus), created sexually. Being a son of God gave someone special powers and a unique destiny. In the Christian myth Jesus is the son of God, with the same special powers and unique destiny, but there is no sex. What is the significance of the de-sexing of the creation of a hero or savior?

It is the removal of women's role as mother. Every human being has a mother. Being a mother is without a doubt the most heroic role any human being ever accepts. You carry within your own body another being that grows at your expense, making your own life secondary to this purpose. Going through labor and delivery is a profound ordeal of love. Motherhood is also the result of a sexual act. Motherhood and sexuality are tied together. While this is true for all animals it is unique in humans because of menses.

Most animal mothers have a sexuality that is completely tied to procreation through estrus. A female animal goes into heat and when she is in heat she is compelled to have sexual intercourse with any male of her species. There is no choice involved. There is never sexual intercourse when she is not ovulating.

Because humans have menses, women are able to have sex every day, not twice a year. However she chooses when she has sex, it is not determined by chemistry. This system is 190,000 years old. Men do not like women having choice in sexual matters. Since patriarchy appeared 7,000 years ago, men have fought to take choice away from women. During warfare, women are stolen from other tribes and forcibly raped. Rape as a weapon of war has become extraordinarily common, with rape camps in the Balkans and in Darfur being the most recent examples.

The myths of Pandora's Box and of Eve and the serpent in the Garden of Eden, are two parallel myths that blame women and women's sexuality for all the evil in the world. Now if you grew up hearing stories how your sexuality was bad and caused all the problems of the world, and then when you naturally touched yourself you were criticized harshly and made to feel shame for your natural self, don't you think you might have a problem with your sexuality?

Add to this the stories of witch hunts that lasted for three hundred years in Europe and the United States which was essentially the murdering of women because they were sexual beings. Add the knowledge of women's sexual mutilation at age 14 to permanently remove their ability to enjoy sex in many Islamic countries, and it becomes obvious that there is tremendous hatred of women and women's sexuality known as misogyny. Being hated for your sexuality just might affect your sex life, don't you think?

And now we get to the last and perhaps most important fact. Women's sexuality dwarf's men's sexuality both overwhelming and frightening men and causing jealousy. In Homer's Odyssey we meet the blind prophet Tiresias in Hades when he gives Odyseus information about his wife Penelope and how to win her back from her suitors. How did Tiresias become a blind prophet? Tiresias was a priest of Zeus. Now Zeus and his wife Hera had an argument over who enjoyed sex more. Zeus claimed it was women and Hera denied that. So Zeus took his priest Tiresias and turned him into a woman and told him to live for ten years as a woman before returning back to Zeus and being turned back into a man. Ten years later Tiresias' famous answer to Zeus is that of the pleasure in human sexuality, nine parts out of ten belong to women. Hera was so mad at Tiresias for revealing this secret that she blinded him. The great Zeus was powerless to undo what Hera had done so he made Tiresias into a prophet as compensation.

Patriarchal culture has made the subject of sexuality taboo. We cannot talk about sexuality and orgasms openly in our sick society, but we can make movies and video games of murder and horrid violence as much as we want. It is rare for a man to gain training in ejaculatory control or understanding how a woman's neurobiology generates a prolonged orgasm. Most men are sexually incompetent at pleasing women, and don't even care to learn.

It usually takes a woman many years to overcome all this cultural programming before she learns to use the connections between her brain, her nipples, her clitoris, her goddess spot, and her cervix. Post menopausal women, having completed the human evolutionary task of separating sexuality from procreation, have the potential to be ath their spiritual and sexual peaks if they can throw

off all these misogynistic myths and trust themselves and their own bodies. Orgasms can expand in length and intensity bringing a woman to a state of altered consciousness where she is connected to the Divine All in liminal time.

So there is no need for a pill to increase women's sexual desire, it is only necessary to throw out all the lies taught about women and sexuality. When these patriarchal lies are exposed for what they are and society stops controlling women and returns to women control over their own selves, then the world will be a much happier place.

Greed, Patriarchy, and the Inevitability of Environmental Disasters

2010-06-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

There is a strong tendency to live our lives with our heads buried in the sand. We just don't want to know things that are disturbing or make us anxious. There are many benefits that we enjoy living in a country that is essentially controlled by powerful corporations. We can shop in stores that have all kinds of wonderful consumer products, and abundant food. If we adhere to the corporate culture that is reinforced in movies and on television, that tell us how to look, what to wear, and how to think, we can most likely get a job that will provides the income we need to get along in our society.
No person can be self sufficient anymore. Living in our society requires an income. In order to obtain an income one must conform to what society dictates. We are a society of laws and those who break those laws are severely punished. But society really requires you to do more than just obey the law, society requires you to adhere to the beliefs that are built into the system. We are said to have the right to our own beliefs and our own religion, but our economic system has its own belief system. Unless you conform to that economic belief system you will not get far in our economy.
The central belief in our economic system of capitalism is that profit is the ruling value. This belief in the positive value of greed, which is the unending thirst and drive for profit, has resulted in the concentration of wealth by corporations. Corporations exist to maximize profit. A corporation that does not maximize profit can be sued by their share holders for failing to make enough money.
As human beings there is much more to us than making money. Human culture speaks of love, inter-personal relationships, and a connection to something that is bigger and grander than the individual life in order to give meaning to life. Meaning is ambiguous, mysterious, always changing and evolving but it is essential to being a human being. Corporations and their culture of greed are not human.
Despite not being human, corporations have achieved status under the law as if they were human. This is part of the system of patriarchy. Men dominate government and business and androcentric values and activities infiltrate both to the point that male dominated ideas are the unconsciousness mind of government and business. Patriarchy essentially states that might makes right. During times of war between states or countries, force is used to settle disputes with vast amounts of bloodshed. People die in war, not corporations. War is very expensive and tremendous profits are always made by corporations in the waging of war.
During times of peace, the law is used to settle disputes. Government at both the federal and state levels use force to implement the decisions of the courts on both people and corporations. Corporations that are found to be conducting business outside the law run the risk of going out of existence. The legal system responds primarily to those who have the most money and who can therefore survive expensive and prolonged legal fights.
Lawyers and judges benefit immensely from this system. Many judges rule in favor of corporate rights over human rights. As corporations provide the vast bulk of legal income, it is in the personal best interest of lawyers and judges to favor corporations. Since corporations have the most money, they are able to employ the most skilled and expensive lawyers and are therefore most successful at modifying the law. This is why corporations who are not human have succeeded in gaining rights as if they were human.
There are other ways of living and other values that humans have embraced in the past that are not patriarchal. It is often assumed erroneously that patriarchy and greed are determined by human nature. Knowledge of human evolution that goes back past recorded human history shows that this is not true. Human beings appear as human animals, called modern anatomic humans or homo sapiens sapiens, about 190,000 years ago. It is not until about 50,000 years ago that human culture appears and the hunter gatherer way of life began. The very first human sculptures are female forms or goddesses. It is the simultaneous appearance of technology, art, and religion that identifies human culture. Hunter gatherer cultures which modern patriarchal cultures deride as primitive, lived in nature as part of nature, not in opposition to nature. Nature was viewed as feminine and as the source of life. Women were identified with nature and venerated.
Under patriarchal culture the disdain for women, who have been viewed as property to be passed from father to husband, has been extended to mother nature. The rape of nature parallels the rape of women. Violence against women goes hand in hand with violence against nature.
The planet earth is not viewed as a living soulful being under patriarchy but as a lifeless lump of resources to be exploited for profit. Scientific evidence especially when combined with historical evidence clearly demonstrates that the beliefs of patriarchy are false and even suicidal.
Many historians have commented on the history of Europeans traveling around the world to North and South America, Asia, and Africa and using force to take political control. Taking advantage of a military technology that Jared Diamond describes as guns, germs, and steel, Europeans secured control of natural resources around the globe that continues in the corporate descendents of imperialistic European nations.
Native hunter gathering people around the world lost their land and their resources. Patriarchal legal systems have done nothing to correct the historical results of might makes right. The history of greed in the United States of America and the history of genocide against Native Americans have a strong correlation. In 1829 the first American gold rush began in the Chattahoochee River area of Georgia. This was the impetus to disenfranchise the Cherokee people of their land and send them on the "trail of tears" march to a reservation in Oklahoma. Later when oil was discovered on "Indian land" in Oklahoma, Native Americans were again displaced.
The gold rush in California in 1849, completed the displacement of Native Americans that had its roots in the genocidal policies of the Catholic Church's mission system. The gold rush in the Black Hills in 1875-1878 destroyed the political independence of the Lakota people, and was made famous by the exploits of Custer.
The bringing of Christianity and civilization were viewed as a justification for the destruction of Native American culture which valued and personified Nature. Perhaps no greater evidence is needed of Patriarchy's contempt for Nature than the deliberate hunting to near extinction of the wild Buffalo herds on the American plains by the U.S. government in the aftermath of the Civil War in order to destroy the basis of the Native American way of life.
Patriarchal greed for Native American land, was fueled in the nineteenth century by gold fever. In the twentieth century greed for oil became more important and continues into the twenty first century.
The patriarchal legal system encourages corporations to maximize profit and minimize risk. Minimizing risk means avoiding responsibility. Oil production around the world has resulted in the degradation of water supplies and a decrease in the standard of living of native peoples. The money that is produced through oil production has been controlled by the oil corporations and a cadre of corrupt rulers around the globe who then take their money with them when they are overthrown. This has been particularly true in Africa.
Even the United States has suffered environmental degradation. The offshore oil spill in the Santa Barbara channel, and the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska should have been sufficient warning of the inherent dangers involved in offshore oil production and transportation. Safety concerns and the risks of disaster are downplayed in the name of profit. The damage to the Alaskan environment has never been put right, and oil company's legal teams were successful in delaying and minimizing their financial penalty.
When oil company executives George W. Bush and Dick Cheney occupied the White House, the regulation of the environment's safety was turned over to ex-employees and future employees of the oil companies themselves. The current disaster in the Gulf of Mexico with the greatest oil spill in human history was inevitable. British Petroleum, Trans Ocean, and Halliburton all point fingers at each other's role to minimize their own responsibility for the disaster.
No one took responsibility for safety. When problems with drilling occurred it was concern over profit that took priority over safety. Stopping the drilling to determine the problem that was happening on an oil rig drilling in one mile of ocean and then two miles under the crust of the earth could have prevented the disaster. Ignoring the impending signs of disaster over concern for being twenty one million dollars behind schedule resulted in the deaths of eleven men and the ongoing release of an unknown number of millions of barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico. The size of the environmental disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is unprecedented in scope and no one can know what the full extent of damage will be. It is by no means clear that damage will be limited to the Gulf of Mexico. I am reminded of the nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty. The environmental disaster may never be made right.
It is time for humanity and the American people to wake up. There are more important things in the world than profit. Human beings are only one animal that evolved on this planet. We must live in accordance with natural law and not a predatory economic system that has only contempt for human lives and the living planet earth. Only the restoration of the Divine Feminine to human consciousness and the understanding that humanity's rightful place is to be the steward of the earth will restore balance to humanity, the animal kingdom, and the planet.
Restoring the Divine Feminine is as simple as giving every woman control over her own body, her own sexuality and reproduction. When men do not control how many babies women have, overpopulation will disappear. Political power and control needs to be removed from old impotent angry men and given back to the crones, the old wise women who created human culture, agriculture and animal husbandry which created all human wealth. Women created agriculture and animal husbandry by extending the love they gave to their families to plants and to animals. When patriarchy took power seven thousand years ago men took over the means of production. When love is restored to the means of production our conflict with nature will disappear.

Book Review Everywoman a Goddess; Everyman A Hero in Her Service

2009-11-05T12:09:00.001-08:00

A special thanks to Dr. Susan Corso for her kind words and insight.

You can read more of Dr. Corso's wisdom on her site http://www.susancorso.com/.

Dr. Stuart Mark Berlin wrote to me and asked if I would consider reviewing his book. As usual, I said yes on the assumption that what approaches me is mine to do. A lot of the time, it is.
His book, Everywoman a Goddess; Everyman, A Hero in Her Service is not for the faint of heart. Because of the naked self-disclosure of his life experiences, it was a challenge for me to read the book. Others might not find it so, but I did.
Given that, it is a remarkable story of one man’s journey through discrimination, abuse, victimization, and the recovery of his truest self. He is a hero, just as we all are folk on a spiritual journey of recovering the true spiritual self.
Dr. Berlin is a devotee of the Schechinah, the feminine aspect of the God of Judaism. His personal spiritual practice has evolved into what he calls Tantric Kabbalah. It is not a path for the traditional practitioner but instead is for those mavericks who must go their own way.
I agree with Dr. Berlin that the Divine Feminine is lost to most of our world. However, not to all of us. Some of us have faithfully pursued Her; more and more do so each day. She reveals Herself to each of us differently. His is one inroad.
One of his greatest points is that doubt is the able assistant, the right-hand person to both science and Divinity. Doubt is a friend! Without doubt, nothing can be questioned or examined. Without doubt, we do not know what to take as truth. Doubt leads to experience both scientifically and spiritually. I know what he means; I befriended doubt decades ago. In my life, I’ve found that doubt in a situation usually means God is trying to make a bigger thing happen than I can currently see.
In his exploration of the shame of his experience, the author names shame for what it is—a stage in human development, not a place to buy real estate. Shame is a place on the path, not a destination. We must all work through our shame. Dr. Berlin calls it “the beginning of morality.” That’s an excellent way to look at it.
Toward the end of the book, part memoir and part spiritual rant, the author addresses a subject near and dear to my heart: Peace. “We are so close to truly wanting peace at the deepest levels of our collective soul. Wanting peace at that level is the first stage to manifesting peace.” Allowing ourselves to feel the desire for anything is the first stage to manifesting it. His solution is to bring the worship of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine together to create a whole deity, as opposed to the fragmented one we have now.
Dr. Berlin’s book is available through his website: http://stuartmarkberlin.com/.
I congratulate him on his fierce and relentless honest and the return to honor that he is modeling for all of us.

My Trip Home

2009-11-05T12:05:00.000-08:00

My trip to San Francisco was barely over when I took the excitement of being published in High Times magazine back to my childhood home in New York. Both Thomas Wolfe and the Greek philosopher Heraclitus could have predicted the results.
I visited my eighty-eight year old mother who looks incredibly good (thanks for the genes Mom) and whose mind is sharp as ever. Despite that outward appearance, she is no longer the vibrant, active mother I remember. She was not well enough to travel with me to Niagara Falls and to my old college campus, Hamilton College, or even able to go into the city with me. She can still cook, though. No one has ever made stuffed cabbage (hullipsas) as wonderful as my mother. Did these hullipsas represent the first unconditional love of the Schechinah?
It had been nine years since I last walked the streets of Little Neck, N.Y. and I was so disturbed by the changes. The tidy little homes have given way to monstrously out of place, McMansions, that grew up and outward without balance or taste, swallowing their gardens and yards. One of my favorite pastimes, walking the streets of the old neighborhood, was no longer calming and comfortable. I remember the torn down homes of my childhood friends. My best friend Andy’s house, where I played basketball and football, is now a monstrous tribute to greed and influence, instead of the warm and cozy second home of my youth. At least most of the trees were still there, thicker and taller. I felt them smiling down upon me with warm memories.
My tantric, crone goddess, Cheryl, had never seen autumnal foliage, so we drove up into Connecticut, toured the Yale campus and then headed north into Massachusetts. As soon as we started north on I95, we saw peaks of reds, and yellows and oranges. The further north we went the more color surrounded us.
I grew up in the northeast, but I have lived in the desert of Southern California for over half my life now and the rush of fall leaves was an immediate treat for my eyes but also for my memory. The forty miles of one lane road through the valley where Chester, Mass. (established 1733) sits, is the most beautiful drive I have ever taken. The thruway is fast and efficient but instead of worrying about how long our trip would take we entered a world that is timeless and captivating. Gold and luminous oranges, bright and dark reds and incandescent yellows, the names of the colors sound so beautiful but they pale in comparison to the experience of the ever moving and changing light, motion, trees, wind, rock, and streams that seemed to rain color and bleed and blend them. A cemetery with Pre-Revolutionary War gravestones surrounded by exploding trees of orange and backlit by the sun truly had to have come to us from the twilight zone.
Traveling along the Mass turnpike onto the New York State thruway, was a return to green trees, just starting to feel the cold. Crossing the border into Niagara, Canada was a lesson into the power of nature as well as time. The force of 20% of the world’s fresh water draining from the Great Lakes , as it goes over a cliff, inspires awe from off to the side but fear when you are on a boat below and cannot see through the fierce spray and cannot hear over the deafening roar. It is no surprise that 12,000 years of crashing water has eroded the falls by 7 miles.
An unexpected but fascinating sight for me was the presence of thousands of Orthodox Hasidim, on vacation during Sukot, going to all the tourist attractions. Young couples barely out of their teens with three or four children each, along with their grandparents-- the extended family sharing love and wonder. Their obvious happiness a testament to Jewish wisdom for those willing to embrace the restrictions of Halacha. Knowing that my own family was once amongst them in the old country long ago in the town of Lutsk made me smile.
Driving east across upstate N.Y. through the old lands of the Seneca nation made each thruway stop exciting as small tidbits of history were revealed. Although not in the original plans, the lure and call of my old college campus was irresistible. Three days of cold had changed the landscape and N.Y. state’s autumn glory was beginning.
My four years at Hamilton were some of the happiest of my life. Walking the campus was an esoteric experience. It had been 30 years since I was last there. I was grateful to find my old studio art Professor Bruce Muirhead still teaching and painting. We spoke for an hour in his studio, with his warmly familiar paintings on the wall. He perceived how radical I was even then when I was pre-med, my mind fearlessly venturing where thoughts would take me. More than anything else it was the woods around campus that had the most effect upon me. This high hill overlooking the Mohawk River valley was the land of the Oneida Indians. The easternmost boundary of the Iroquois nation after the treaty of 1768 is at the base of College Hill, complete with a marker commemorating Sir William Johnson’s negotiations.
Hamilton College had its roots in the Oneida Indian Academy started by missionary Samuel Kirkland in 1791, and named after his political patron Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton died in 1804, and Kirkland in 1808 and the school originally begun to Christianize the natives became Hamilton College in 1812. Buried on campus is the Oneida sachem Shenandoah, a Christianized Indian who had much to do with the transfer of Indian lands to the white man. Ultimately disturbed by the course of history, he died waiting for the return of Jesus to restore justice to the world he had seen destroyed.
The wildness of the lands around my campus and something inherent in nature called to the true me. It was at Hamilton that I became sexually active, first smoked marijuana, and allowed myself to experience the woods in a way that was non-rational and magical. I explored Art and English literature in addition to Biology and Chemistry. The class of ’77 started with half of the 240 members pre-med, but only sixteen students were allowed to apply to medical school. In the zenith year of medical school applications in American history, eleven were accepted. It was at Hamilton that I learned to trust my own judgment and to use both sides of my brain. I could see the earliest roots of my life long task to integrate science, spirituality and sexuality.
The Mohawk River flows into the Hudson River. These two rivers define much of New York’s geography but they are deceptive. You cannot step into the same river twice as neither you nor the river are the same. Heraclitis reminds us to create home as you create reality every day anew and fresh using the magic of your soul and drawing upon your memory, your experience, your dreams and your love. Traveling reminds us to seek wisdom. When we combine wisdom with compassion we have found enlightenment.
Love and light,
Stuart

San Francisco Trip and High Times

2009-11-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

On September 25, I went to San Francisco for the NORML conference. NORML stands for the National Organization to Reform Marijuana Laws. The experience of being at this conference was both moving and transformative. My purpose for attending the conference was to find people who would understand the significance of apocrine sweats’ concentration of THC in blood during acute intoxication.
My patent for the diagnostic use of apocrine sweat was granted in 2003. Despite focusing on cancer research I have been unable to attract sufficient funding or collaborators to discover the universal cancer biomarker that I hypothesize will be highly concentrated in the apocrine sweat of cancer patients. Along the way I have also written my book and started this newsletter.
Recently I gave a presentation to the Southern California Bio Council regarding my apocrine research. Their response was that my work was still theoretical. While I have detected two separate cancer biomarkers concentrated in apocrine sweat, I have to agree that I have not yet found the universal cancer biomarker. As I thought about their response I realized that with regards to THC, my work is not theoretical. Although drug testing is not my passion I could see that this application is closest to manifestation and licensing my patent for that purpose would then fund my cancer research.
I wrote an Op-ed piece on THC testing in apocrine sweat which was rejected by the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times. I went up to San Francisco and the NORML conference seeking a path.
The conference had started two days before I arrived. For a brief moment another world was created. Attending the conference were approximately 700 people including many with different chronic illnesses and their family members who found their only relief with the use of marijuana. Their stories were powerful, individual, and convincing.
The speakers I heard were articulate, imaginative and insightful in their discussions of why marijuana must be legalized. Norm Stamper from LEAP (Law Enforcement Against Prohibition) spoke about the importance of cooperating with police and becoming friends with them. Dr. Lester Grinspoon speaking from Harvard discussed his years of marijuana research and shared personal stories about John Lennon and Ramsey Clark. High Times magazine owner Michael Kennedy was given an award by NORML.
I approached the various speakers about my research and traded business cards. I was on an amazing high when the speakers immediately grasped that a road side test for marijuana significantly helps the effort to legalize marijuana. Michael Kennedy shook my hand and said High Times will publish my piece, reminding me to submit it.
The follow up e mails and phone calls ensued and High Times is publishing a news piece on apocrine sweat’s concentration of THC during acute marijuana intoxication and the development of a road side test. This will appear in the February issue of High Times which will be available in mid December.

Univeral Cancer Biomarker and Vaccine

2009-07-14T13:45:00.000-07:00

One of the things I enjoyed most about my pediatric career was making hospital rounds, whether at Children’s Hospital or Cedars Sinai. The key to being on rounds is listening to the story with your intellect and training but also with your imagination. Using all of your skills can bring to the story something that makes everything fit, a diagnosis. Listening to the story, a possible diagnosis comes to mind and then you recommend a test that can prove the diagnosis. Medical tests are not equal, a negative test gives much less information that a positive diagnostic test.
On July 6, 2009 journalist Jill Adams wrote two articles in the Health section of the Los Angeles Times discussing cancer vaccines. Despite years of development and the promise of a therapeutic breakthrough, cancer vaccines have been a disappointment. She described that three cancer vaccines, against prostate cancer, melanoma, and lymphoma have achieved positive results in clinical trials. Reading this article with the same mindset as listening on rounds, I realize that there is an essential flaw in the current system of cancer vaccine development. Every cancer needs its own unique vaccine.
Thinking imaginatively, what if there was a universal cancer biomarker coating the surface of every cancer cell? A universal cancer biomarker would make a universal cancer vaccine possible. Is this fantasy or a hypothesis? If there is a universal cancer biomarker coating the plasma membrane of every cancer cell, why hasn’t all the years of biomedical research and the billions of dollars spent every year discovered it?
I remember being on rounds once and being praised by a white haired old doctor who said that in order to diagnose something you must think of it. In order to discover the universal cancer biomarker you must think outside the normal convention of research parameters.
Those who have read my book and my online newsletters know about my patent for the diagnostic use of apocrine sweat. I search for a cancer biomarker that would be diagnostic for cancer and describe a non-invasive test that can be self - administered. What I have never shared in writing before is that I believe and hypothesize that this universal cancer biomarker would also make possible a universal cancer vaccine. My loss of licensure and access to a lab and patients has prevented me from making this discovery but it is also true that my desire to own this biomarker has also prevented me from giving this vision to the world in its fullness.
The apocrine gland is present in the armpit and groin at the base of every hair shaft. It is the evolutionary reason we still have hair in our armpits and groin. I have documented that PSA, urea nitrogen, THC (from marijuana), breast cancer biomarker CA 15-3, and a patented tumor stroma biomarker are all concentrated in apocrine sweat from blood in disease states. I have seen with my own eyes the biomarker I seek in an apocrine sweat specimen that was frozen for six months and then desiccated. It was present as a large amount perhaps 30% of the precipitate in the sample.
Dogs are able to detect cancer in their masters. Apocrine sweat is the physiology that allows dogs to smell that their masters have cancer. The biomarkers deposited on the hair shaft break down into volatile components that travel in the air to the dog’s nose. The biomarker breaks down with just a little heat and bacterial action. This means that the biomarker is a very fragile protein.
Perhaps by putting this information out in this form, openly, someone who has access to cancer patients and a proteomics lab will want to go forward with my research. Maybe someone working with cancer vaccines will see the merit in my hypothesis. The magic of science is that it will prove or disprove a hypothesis. All it takes is collecting the apocrine sweat of a patient with active cancer in their bodies and doing proteomic analysis of that specimen. My universal cancer biomarker is either there or it isn’t. If it is then a universal cancer vaccine will also be there as well.
Love and light, Namaste and shalom,
Stuart

Albert Einstein, the Jewish Hero

2009-06-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

There are only two way to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as thought everything is a miracle.

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.-

A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.-

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.-

I do not believe in the God of theology who rewards good and punishes evil.-

I am a deeply religious nonbeliever - this is a somewhat new kind of religion.-

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.-

Albert Einstein

In my book Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero I write about Albert Einstein as the prototype of the Jewish hero. He is devoted to truth, he seeks out hiddenness, and he is a pacifist who loves women. He is a hero through non-violence using the power of his Divinely inspired genius and not the power of arms. During World War I, when his chemistry professor friend was making chlorine gas for the war effort Albert Einstein started an anti-war protest letter for scientists but he could not get many scientists to sign it. This was a very radical act in the Kaiser's Germany. He was still very unknown in the world at the time. After the war his pacifist efforts were a critical part of getting astronomers to carry out the experiment with solar ecclipses that proved that the gravity of the sun changed the path of light traveling from the distant stars. The data exactly matched the predictions of his relativity theory. We would not be communicating on the internet with photons if not for this great Jewish hero. love and light, Stuart http://stuartmarkberlin.com

The Fall of Man

2009-06-06T11:49:00.000-07:00

The central myth of Western religion is the fall of man from the Garden of Eden. It is either called the fall of man or the fall of mankind because the purpose of the myth is to blame women for losing a prior state of bliss. Eve gave the apple to Adam. In the pagan version Pandora opened the Box. In both of these stories the sexuality of women is to blame. You can read many articles about spirituality all of which tell you to control or repress your sexual nature and only by doing so will you be ok. The central myth is one of fear and loathing of being sexual, of being a woman, of being yourself.
Well first of all this is a great lie. There never was a garden of eden only a forest savage from which humanity evolved. In exact opposite to this myth humanity didn't fall because of women, humanity became human because of women.
First 190,000 years ago human beings appeared when women separated from Homo, erectus ancestors by changing human sexuality. They did this through the appearance of menses and menopause, two features that no other animal has. This did two things, first it separated sexuality from procreation so that love would appear in the world. Second it gave women a chronic iron deficiency anemia that needed lots of meat in order to treat it. The only problem is that humans were prey of other animals not predators.
Heroic men said no problem, we can now have sex and love all the time hooray, we will go out and risk our lives for that. And they did. Hunting mastodons with sticks and flints was heroic and they did it in the service of women and yes they did get great sex all the time in return. This lasted from 190,000 years ago to 10,000 years ago when women invented agriculture.
The creation of agriculture came about because 12,900 years ago a comet struck the earth causing almost all the megafauna to go extinct. Humans almost went extinct too. For 180,000 years women had been nurturing men and their families with love. To solve this problem of the loss of megafauna women extended love to plants creating agriculture and then to animals creating animal husbandry. The original means of production the source of all human wealth was women, inspired by the Divine Feminine. The original means of production was connected to LOVE.
What went wrong? After three thousand years men invented patriarchy, misogyny, war, slavery, and inequality. Why? The answer is no one wants to be irrelevant, no one wants their true nature to go fallow. Men's true nature is to be heroic. If they could not be heroic in the service of women i.e. hunting big game, they would be heroic in the service of patriarchy and greed.
Patriarchy and war and slavery is the fall of man. Separating from being heroic to women is the fall of man.
This must be understood in order to save us from extinction. We must restore heroism to its true nature, in service to the Divine Feminine and her manifestation on this earth, WOMEN. When men can do this men will have returned from their tragic fall. When we restore LOVE to the means of production and reconnect men and women then we will be in the true state of humanity.
love and light,
Stuart
http://stuartmarkberlin.com/ [1]

Attending Deepak's and Marianne Williams Seminar in Marina Del Rey Yesterday

2009-05-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, you think you know someone because they are famous, or you read their book? Meeting them in person adds an entirely different level and layer of knowledge. Online or in a book you read someone's words and sometimes you can feel their presence in their words. I hope I write that way.
Meeting Deepak yesterday in Marina Del Rey was an extraordinary experience. He is even more brilliant in person than he is on the page. He is truly inspiring, able to express very complicated ideas in a rapid machine gun style that shows his command of neurobiology, spirituality and the latest physics of discontinuity. Your soul is not in your body, your body is in your soul. The universe is in your soul. The energy in the universe is vibrating going on and off. It is the off that is important. The off is the discontinuity. There is no energy in the discontinuity, there is no information in the discontinuity, there is no space time in discontinuity, there are no objects in the discontinuity. The discontinuity is both Soul and Divine and has the attributes of infinite possibility (which is abundance), nonlocal (meaning omnipotent, onmiscient and omnipresent), uncertain and flexible (meaning unknowable and unfixed), infinitely creative, and responds to the power of intention resulting in effortless intention.
Talk about integrating information and pulling things together to make sense. True revelation. But perhaps even more important than being a great teacher, Deepak is a humble human being. He is still capable of being ignored by his four year old granddaughter. Deepak is a manifestation of Ganesha.
I went up to Deepak at the break and told him how much I enjoyed his teaching and meeting him and sending him notes here on Intent.com. I told him I had a present for him and gave him a newly printed paperback copy of my book Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service. He looked at the title, looked me in the eye and said "I will read it." Well as you can imagine that made my day.
Later he lead a guided meditation. First he brought us out of the ego state by thinking of someone who made us grateful. Next he had us use the mantra of I am for quite a long time. And finally he asked us to invite a Divine Archetype into our being, to manifest. I saw a bright sun like yellow ball of flame and was transported far far away, further away than I can ever remember having traveled before. When he told us to come back and open our eyes, I had the strangest experience. It was oh, here again. The experience of downloading the Divine archetype was so blissful and so wonderful I didn't really want to be here. Yet it also makes being her not only more tolerable, it makes it purposeful.
I went to see Deepak yesterday and was not disappointed. Yet the real shock was that while Deepak was what brought me there it was Marianne Williams who gave me my personal answer in another guided meditation that showed me where my block was. This was very humbling indeed in many ways that I will not share at this time.
I have met two spiritual teachers who are everything they say they are and so much more.
love and light,
Stuart

2008-12-23T14:04:00.000-08:00

Perigean Tides, Winter Solstice and Hiddenness

Two weeks ago on Friday night was a spectacular full moon. It was bigger and brighter because the Moon was at her Perigee, the closest her elliptical orbit brings her to the Earth all year. When the Moon is low in the sky there is an optical illusion that the human brain creates making it seem even larger than it was. The sight of an unusually large Moon low in the night sky gave me a feeling of something magical to come.
The next day my tantric crone goddess checked the time of low tide in the newspaper and saw that it was at 4 pm. Knowing that the Perigean low tide was so close to sunset in December attracted us to our favorite beach in Malibu, a beach of extraordinary rock arches and a true sea cave. Usually at a regular low tide you can enter the cave wearing a bathing suit. One past summer my daughter and I succeeded in entering the cave at a mid tide and a wave knocked off and claimed my sunglasses. Close to the Winter Solstice the thought of getting into the cave without getting wet was very enticing. We dressed for a cold winter’s day at the beach and drove off excitedly.
I have been to my favorite beach many times over the last twenty-five years. I feel as if the soul of the beach is an old friend of my soul. But it was a new and magical place completely changed under the powerful gravitational force of the Moon. The water had receded thirty five to forty feet out making a normally narrow beach broader than I could have wished. The revealed sand was still saturated with water so that the sun still reflected as if it was striking very still flat water.
Immediately a Biblical image came to me of the Israelites fleeing Egypt crossing the wet sand where the waters of the Sea of Reeds had previously raged. It was a windy day too, and the wind was opposing the unseen force of the Moon. Where the Moon was pulling the water away to the other side of the Earth, making crashing high tides there, the Wind was coming to the aid of Mother Nature, attempting to push the water back where it should be, attempting to cover her.
The word amazement is used trivially most of the time but here you just walked around with your eyes doubly open, with your mouth open. The beach was almost empty witnessed by the stares of a privileged few. Sharing the knowledge of what they were seeing made them even more excited. I imagined the awe of ancient people from the Torah story seeing the water being held back by an unseen force. I did not have the adrenaline of running for my life making my heart pound to complete their experience.
We walked further along the beach, my tantric partner taking photos. The water was so far back allowing me to walk where the ocean usually is. Perspectives and views that were hidden exposed themselves to me. I saw rich deep long sea grass starting about fifteen to twenty feet out. I didn’t even know that sea grass grew there. The revealed deep green against the glowing rocks, with abundant life everywhere, had been hidden by the dark ocean. There were clusters of starfish seven deep clinging to the ocean side of rocks, orange and red and intertwining their arms into a mass of living rock. Did they know or care that I was there, respecting their beauty without violating their vulnerability? I had seen anemones and mussels at low tide before but never in such splendiferous numbers. And then we got to the cave.
The sun was starting to drop lower and lower and the light was truly magical. The cave was bathed in a golden glow and you could stand forty feet in front of the cave and still be dry. It was the same place I had always been but Mother Nature’s secret glory was being revealed to me sharing a privileged and rare intimacy. You could smell her and taste her, the bountiful beauty all around you encompassing you. It was liminal time outside the normal flow of time and space to be savored and appreciated for its gift. The sunset over this precious landscape was a seething glow of orange and red clouds mirroring the foreshadowing of the secretive starfish.
A week later was the Winter Solstice. The shortest day of the year and the longest night, again the experience of humans is determined by the movement in the heavens. While our culture protects us from the food shortages our ancestors faced in increasing darkness, our imagination still responds to the pattern of day and night. Winter Holidays prevalent in all cultures light candles and burn logs, using the magic of fire to bring back the longed for sunlight that ultimately lights our lives and provides all we consume. The jump from light to enlightenment, from fear to wonder and awe, is rooted deep in the consciousness of our species, going long past all things written and even beyond the telling of stories. The day when night is so terribly long and dark still broods in our minds and requires a response.
What I saw on the Perigean Tide and on Winter Solstice had in common the power of hiddenness. Hiddenness. It was hiddenness that first fascinated Albert Einstein as a boy when the unseen force that directed a compass turned his attention from the world of what is to the world of hiddenness. Scientists before Einstein in their haughty pride thought they knew all that would ever be known. The great Jewish hero restored mystery to the world and to our imagination. His great thought experiments not only revealed the discoveries that recreated the modern world; he also restored the unknown, the dark edges on the map.

President Barack Obama and a Culture of Hope

2008-11-05T11:57:00.000-08:00

I am so proud to be an American again. It is patriotic to criticize your country when she has been taken over by hoodlums, warmongers, and liars. For far too long our country has been mislead. There has been a lot written about race and this election. Forget what has been said because there is no such thing as race. As a physician and scientist I know that there is only one race the human race. I learned this long before I went to medical school. One fact can shatter false beliefs. That fact was that a black man with the same blood type can give his blood to save the life of someone from another so called race when someone with a different blood type but from the same race might kill him with his blood. That is all you need to know that there is no such thing as race. It is a biological falsehood.

The difference between human beings is not biological, it is not racial, it is cultural. Ever since World War II, our country has been in a state of perpetual warfare. We have had a culture of greed, war, domination, and misogyny. Despite that truth there has been ongoing spiritual evolution to the point that a black man was elected president of the United States of America. Now I was a supporter of Hillary Clinton. I thought that she should have been president. To me as a goddess worshipper a woman president would have been a much greater change than a black man president. Black or white, men are men. No matter, we live in the real world and this is pretty amazing.

All you had to do was look at the tears streaming down the face of Jesse Jackson last night. I was moved to tears by his tears. Tears of amazement and unabashed joy at the miracle of life and history. Yes there is a lot of work to do, yes Bush has caused immearsurable harm to the planet and the people of the world. Yes the vicious lies of the Mormon and Catholic churches lead to the passing of Prop 8 again denying marriage to gays in California. But at least now we can look to our president not with shame every time his mouth opens but with pride. We have a smart man as president for the first time since Clinton. We have the opportunity to create
that culture of love, nurturance, and creativity together. Let us heal one another and love one another and work together. Let us show the world that human beings deserve to stay on this beautiful planet.

namaste and shalom,

Stuart

Sex Magic

2008-10-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

Sex Magic

What is sex magic and what is its relationship to sex? Since very few people actually practice sex magic I thought that an explanation from an active pratitioner would be useful. First of all sex magic is about actual sexual activity including intercourse that leads to orgasms, especially prolonged orgasms by the woman in a heterosexual couple. Now I always limit myself to writing about what I actually know from personal experience so I can only write about heterosexual sex and sex magic in that context. That is not to suggest or imply that sexuality between same sex individuals can not be used for sex magic.
In my book Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service I describe my creation of Tantric Kabbalah. This spititual path to Divine Unitary Consciousness includes sex magic. Essentially sex magic uses the orgasms of the female partner to effect change in the Spiritual world. Now this assumes that there is both a physical world and a spiritual world. The dictionary describes spirituality as referring to the spirit world consisting of souls, spirits, and the Divine. Now there are many materialists who do not believe in the existence of the spirit world. I discuss this subject at length in my book. What I didn’t realize until meeting a group of people recently is that there are people who believe that the spirit world is all that exists and the physical world is a delusion. Neither of these belief systems is compatible with sex magic.
For most people sexuality is a subject that is never fully explored in an intelligent manner. It is a hidden subject, where truth, openness, and sharing rarely takes place. This is cultural and unfortunate. The hallmark of addictive sexuality is sex with fear or adrenaline as the primary chemical mediator. Intimacy, emotional availability, and love are not involved in addictive sex. One can even describe this kind of physical sex as masturbation where the role of your hand is played by a partner.
Sex magic first requires intimacy. It can only take place within the context of a relationship and with honesty. This kind of sex gets better and better over time as newness with a stranger is not required for arousal, but closeness, comfort with your partner, trust, shared commitment, and love deepens over time increasing the magic and the duration and intensity of the female orgasm.
I have woven together tantra, kabbalah, and goddess worship in order to unify within the spirit world the Divine Feminine called the Schechinah, with the Divine Masculine called Tiferet. These are their names in Hebrew, in Sanskrit they would be called Shiva and Shakti, and in wiccan they would be called the God and the Goddess. It is important to realize that sex magic has appeared in many different cultures and in different time periods because it is a product of human evolution and as such is intimately related to human brain function. The human brain is the most complex “thing” in the universe other than the universe itself. What is extraordinary about the human brain is that it allows human beings to exist in both the real physical world and the magical spirit world and to interact within both worlds. The connection between human sexuality and spirituality has been documented by neuroscience.
My tantric crone partner (I have written about the incredible orgasmic and magical prowess of post menopausal women) and I practice our sex magic in our personal tantric temple. We have a four poster California King size bed. Attached to the posts at the very tops are numerous barn owl feathers. I came across the remains of an owl which had been eaten by coyotes. All that were left were her feathers. As I collected her remains I could see in my mind’s eye her death and how she appreciated my collecting her feathers. Once her feathers were attached to the four bedposts I meditated in the bed. I could see her flying within the four posts. The owl is a messenger from spirit to physical world, presumbably due to its flying silently at night. In additon there are many black swan feathers attached to the bed posts as well. The black swan has assumed a mathematical meaning. Because there were no black swans in Europe, europeans had only seen white swans. Each observation of a white swan, confirmed an existing belief but did not add any new information. The discovery of black swans in Australia changed everything. The observation of one black swan contained more information that the observation of millions of white swans. In mathematics a black swan has come to signify an event or piece of information that is completely unpredictable and of immense significance. This is a very personally significant symbol for me.
On the dresser is our Goddess alter with many objects that bring to mind the Goddess in adoration. There are Goddess figures including the most visually famous one from the ancient caves, one of the first human sculptures, the Freiberg Goddess. There is a large cowry shell which has been a symbol of the yoni in human consciousness for tens of thousands of years if not longer. A complete and whole sand dollar is present. The sand dollar has in its skeleton holes that inscribe a five petaled shape that conforms to the famed Fibonaci sequence. The number five is considered the Goddess number because the planet Venus makes the shape of a pentagram when observed in the sky over the course of a year from the vantage point of our planet. Also present are rose petals grown in our garden, remains of wooly blue curls a very beautiful and unusual flower native to the Santa Monica Mountains of personal significance to me, polished globes of ametrine and obsidian, pieces of rose quartz, remains of gulf fritilary butterflies whose home we provide in our backyard,
The most unique object on the alter is a bronze statue of the tree of life or Etz Chaim in Hebrew. The tree of life is central to kabbalistic wisdom. It is the bridge or step down transformers from Divinity to humanity. It includes both the Divine male Tiferet and the Divine female Schechinah. Within the tree of life the Divine male is divided into six sephirots Gedulah, Gevurah, Tiferet, Netzach, Hod and Yesod. These Divine names are included in my mantra and are part of the process of integrating the Divine male energy so it is worthy of unifying with the Divine female energy Schechinah. This fragmented nature of the male is seen all the time in our physical world. Women experience it from men all the time in their inability to be present. It does not actually represent withholding but fragmentation. The unification of Tiferet (greater Tiferet) with the Schechinah takes place within the tree of life. The candle under the bronze statue projects its shadow upon the ceiling above our bed where our sex magic takes place.
Making love under the shadow of the tree of life is wonderful. With the fans on the tree appears to be blowing in the wind. The shadow is there all night for us when we awaken several times. The prolonged bliss and ecstasy of tantric union results in Divine Union. When kavannah (intention in Hebrew) is added to orgasm it grows from a physiologic experience to an access way to Divine Unitary Consciousness allowing one to stand in two worlds simultaneously. The consciousness of the Great Mother joins us during this magical state of consciousness which combines meditation and orgasms. The orgasms of my partners travels up her chakras and out the top of her head to bring the blessing and love of the Schechinah to the world. This is sent out to the world in general and to specific individuals I hold in my mind for healing.
I have written an article on tantra for the Divine Tantra Worship group on yahoo. Those who order a copy of my book Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service from my website http://www.stuartmarkberlin.com/ will receive as a gift a free phone call where you can listen to my mantra which channels the Integrated and Unified Light of Tiferet and Schechinah so you can actually feel and experience the peace and love of tantric kabbalistic healing. love and light, Stuart.

Response to Patriarchy

2008-09-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

The danger to our survival as a species comes from a change that appeared in human cultural evolution about 7,000 years ago called Patriarchy. This mind view enslaved and then murdered the Divine Feminine or Goddess, was disgusted by the glorious nature of female sexuality and orgasm, subjugated women for their ability to produce children and dominated them sexually, economically and spiritually.

Patriarchy likes to think it created human wealth but it did not. All human wealth derives from the discovery of agriculture and animal husbandry which was brought into the world by women inspired by the Goddess. Women brought love into the world when they went from estrus to menses 190,000 years ago. The knowledge that sex made you pregnant and that childbirth was very dangerous , made women only want sex with love.

Love was the magic that created humanity and it came from women. Women then extended love from their individual families to nature in the form of plants and animals. This gave us abundance and ended the hunting and gathering way of life. Three thousand years later Patriarchal priests created Gods to enslave the Goddess, usurped the means of production, separated production from love and created war, slavery and rape.

Now seven thousand years later the world herself is being poisoned by the toxins and carbon dioxide of industrial production devoid of love. She is heating up the world to rid herself of these greedy, cruel, and selfish human beings. Our only hope is another human evolutionary leap forward again in human culture not biology.

We must restore the Divine Feminine to the world. We must integrate the male and female aspects of our nature into a whole that is at peace with ourselves and the planet. My book Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service is my autobiographical story of the integration of my right and left cerebral hemispheres, integrating my head, my heart and my spirit. It is the story of sex magic evolving out of sex with intimacy within relationship after healing from sexual addiction. It is the story of fusing science, spirituality, and sexuality. It is the story of next great evolutionary leap that humanity must make together in consciousness for us to remain on this planet. I detail my creation of Tantric Kabbalah, my personal fusion of evolution, neurobiology, quantum mechanics, tantra, kabbalah and goddess worship. I am self publishing and my work is available to be shipped within the continental united states. Please visit my website at www.stuartmarkberlin.com

namaste and shalom,
Stuart

Prayer of Thanksgiving for Autumn Equinox

2008-09-20T14:56:00.000-07:00

The autumn equinox is a time of balance and is traditionally celebrated with food and harvest and loved ones. As I was cooking the sauce for the meal I was thinking of an appropriate prayer of thanksgiving to be given before eating. Not a brief prayer of thanksgiving but a true understanding of all the forces that went into the food I was chopping, and sauteeing, and bringing to boil. This was in my mind as I cooked the hamburger meat and sausage and added it to the chicken stock broth with tomato paste and stewed tomatoes. I thought of this prayer as I added the spices and sauteed the garlic, and then the portobello mushrooms and purple tomatoes and celery, and then the apples. My mind bubbled as the pot came to reflux.

We thank Adonai the creator for the tzim tzum the withdrawl that created the space for creation. We thank Adonai the creator for the big bang about 15 billion years ago where Divine light came into the world and transformed into quarks and other subatomic particles that then became protons and then hydrogen atoms. We thank Adonai the creator for the rapid expansion of the universe from the size of a football field to the size of our own solar system and then its gradual expansion ever since. We thank Adonai the creator for the coalescing of hydrogen atoms to form stars and for the nuclear reactions that combined hydrogen atoms into helium atoms and then into all the elements of the periodic table. We thank Adonai the creator for the supernova explosions of so many stars over so many billions of years that seeded the universe with matter. We thank Adonai the creator for the formation of our solar system about five billion years ago. We thank Adonai the creator that free water appeared on our Earth and that with free water life appeared rapidly as it was meant to appear. We thank Adonai the creator for all the specific charactersitics of the laws of physics that were necessary for life to appear on our earth. We thank Adonai the creator for the rapid evolution of life forms in the Cambrian period. We thank Adonai the creator for the collision with the asteroid 65 million years ago that destroyed the world of the dinosaurs and allowed small burrowing mammals to come forth and become the dominant life form. We thank Adonai the creator for the evolutionary process that created primates and our hominid ancestors.

We thank all the Eves, the first human women, who changed from estrus to menses, hiding ovulation, and separating sex from procreation, making us into human beings and leading us out of the forest savage. We thank the first Adams, the first men who were heroic in service to women, changing from prey to predator. We thank them for their courage and heroism in hunting enormous mammals to bring meat to the women who bled every month. We thank the Goddess, the Schechinah, the Divine consciousness that was able to reach the minds of women, teaching them about time, sexuality, and love. We thank the Goddess who inspired the crones, the old women of all our first tribes who were the transmitters of human culture from one generation to the next.

We thank the Goddess for inspiring women to create agriculture and animal husbandry 10,000 years ago bringing abundance into the world. What we eat here today and all that we have are the result of that great gift from women to humanity inspired by the Goddess. We thank the forces of nature and the individual stewards of nature for the abundance we harvest and share. The intricacies of the interconnected web of life continues to inspire us as we discover more and more of what was previously hidden.
namaste and shalom, autumn equinox, 2008. Stuart

Getting Excited

2008-08-29T11:31:00.000-07:00

Well things are finally looking like they are actually going to come together. The disappointment about not being picked up by a regular publisher and having to self publish on the internet has given way to excitement. I have been meeting a lot of prospective readers on the internet: primarily women over age 40, and have been receiving very encouraging and kind feedback about the ideas expressed in this blog.

I never thought I would have to learn all this internet stuff about publishing but no one else wants to do it and it has to be done to get my message out there. I have gotten back my cover art for my e book. It is the title Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service combined with my tatoo from my left shoulder. I call the tatoo the Berlin Menorah.

I had it placed on my left shoulder when I was living with bikers way back in 1999. They were all getting tatoos at a kind of party at the house. I was well liked in the house and they wanted me to get one too. Now I had always been kind of prejudiced against tatoos and then there was the old concern about tatoos not being kosher and keeping you out of a Jewish cemetary, where I would one day like to end up. I pondered this situation and decided that a selp designed and personal symbol of deep significance would justify violating some traditons. My old orthodox Uncle agreed with me when he saw it in 2000.

I was doing electrical work, still integrating my ideas that became Tantric Kabbalah, and still seeking a way to restore my medical career and find a way to do some research on the vision I had of apocrine sweat testing. I don't remember exactly how the image came to me, it wasn't in a dream. It might have just been an analytical process but I decided to combine the image of the Menorah the oldest symbol of spirituality in Judaism, with Hermes Wand or the Caduceus, the symbol of medicine and healing. It was more of an idea than a picture in my mind. I instructed the tatoo artist what to create for me and I loved the result.

Now some people have looked at it and said "Oh, you are a Jewish doctor." Well yes technically that is true even though I am retired from the practice of medicine. The intended idea at the time was to represent spiritual healing. I was healed from the traumas of my life and ready to go forward in a new life devoted to spirituality.

Over time as my ideas crystallized into Tantric Kabbalah, the true meaning of this image came to me. The two snakes represent the Divine energies Tiferet, the Divine Masculine , and the Schechinah the Divine Feminine. The column the snakes are coiled around represents the individual who has successfully integrated these two great energies within his own being, within his body, mind, and soul (nefesh, ruach, and neshamah). This could just as easily take place within a she as well as a he. The result of this developmental process of integration results in the wings of imagination and the lights of illumination. This is a great symbol and the creation of a new symbol has profound implications. Later on I found that the Caduceus actually is older than the Greeks and goes all the way back to Ishtar, one of the first Goddesses, and was even then a symbol of healing.

The Berlin Menorah is a syncretistic symbol that combines ideas, images and healing from many different sources. As a symbol it evolves and brings new aspects to the surface in an ever developing consciousness. Humanity needs to draw upon many resources in order to make the next evolutionary leap that is coming. Come and see, come and see .....

Butterfly Sanctuary

2008-08-24T21:27:00.000-07:00

Everymorning for the past several weeks the number of orange and black butterflies keeps increasing. They play with each other, chasing through the air with abandon. They are oblivious to my observations and the joy they bring me. Today there must have been 15 - 20 of them cavorting, dancing and bearing a message of love, happiness and hope.

They were there last summer, but I mistook them for monarchs. This year I learned they are called Gulf fritillarys. The back of their wings are orange and black but their ventral side is silver. Their caterpillars feast on the passion vine. Last year we stretched the vine to double its size after the feeding frenzy so more passion vine this year means more butterflies.

As a solitary kabbalist who seeks liminal time every day, the example of these butterflies is restorative. It is hard for me to be patient. My nature is not patient and even though my life's experiences should have taught me patience, it is still a struggle. The vision of apocrine sweat testing that I had almost eleven years ago is still not manifested. My united states patent was granted in 2003, which is already a long time ago. I see my medical research being dependent upon the success of my manuscript which is still unpublished. Perhaps next month my book Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service will be available as an e book on a soon to appear website linked to this blog.

I have watched the caterpillars eat the leaves of the passion vine until they are almost bare. The vine will grow even more vigorously next year. The leaves of the passion vine have a chemical that make them inedible to all but two kinds of caterpillars. My beautiful butterflys are so numerous in my backyard because of a specific plant and because the connection between them is known and supported. Connections are unseen without consciousness.

Consciousness leads to many things. Ego demands promptness and speed. Ego is impatient. Perhaps I am the passion vine allowing caterpillars to feed upon me. Perhaps the butterflies are there to help me relax and escape the pressure of wanting success. Perhaps it is enough to enjoy them and to remember that if I care for the vine and plant another one even more butterflies will be there next year. Perhaps there is a connection between their beauty and the beauty of my visions.

Despair, Understanding and Forgiveness

2008-08-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

The World seems to be in a terrible mess. The best of us suffer anquish and despair at the assault upon our freedoms here in the United States by the fascist Bush administration, while we bleed our treasury and the lives of our youth in an illegal and traitorous war about oil overseas, all the while watching the world's envirionment (including our cousins, the animals) suffer the consequences of losing any protection while being delivered wholesale to the corporate rapists who only seek profit, profit, and more profit.

The worst of us do well in such a world and the best of us start to feel that maybe the extinction of the human race is not such a bad thing. The planet is mounting a fever, just like we do when we are riddled with invading bacteria. Fever kills the bacteria and we the host return to health. The Earth is doing the same. Human beings will become extinct if we do not make the next evolutionary leap.

Looking at the behavior of those who make the important decisions and run the world does create not only despair but anger and sometimes hatred. It is hard to see a way out that does not involve violence. Yet violence is what those in power know well and do best. Embracing violence kills your own soul. Patriarchy has used violence for 7,000 years and it doesn't really matter which group wins and imposes its own ideology. They are all the same, murderers and rapists. Despair really seems to make sense.

You can't win a game by playing with their rules. You have to change the rules. That is the great understanding that allows forgiveness and healing to occur. You can't heal the planet without first healing yourself. Every person who heals from the wounds inflicted upon them participates in the change of consciousness that is coming. We can either suffer with a broken heart and allow ourselves to be trampled or we can use that injury as the circumcision of our hearts and allow ourselves to open to the spiritual world of the Great Mother.

The users and destroyers of the world do not see beyond simple matter. They have no receptors for that which they cannot sell. Viewing them as injured little boys who need help to recover from their own wounds is very useful. It makes them an object of pity not hatred and frees us from the negative feelings that poisons their brains. There is no need for a savior or to escape Hell because there is nothing to be saved from except our own fears. That ideology is the bait and switch tactic that patriarchy uses against us. The Goddess loves us and needs us to be a conduit for that love. When we cease to be in physical form we do not suffer. Those of us who have created soulfullness (Ruach) continue and those of us who have not simply disappear.

We are all here for a purpose. The purpose of bringing soulfulness and love into this world. This world exists so we can have a place to love and be loved. Do not allow fear to blackmail you. Simply love without conditions. Receive love without conditions and always tell the truth. Give love without condtions and do the right thing. Forgiving the murderers and rapists confuses them to no end and takes away all their power. Love is stronger than fear and hate and changes human consciousness. It is the great change in consciousness that is truly coming. Come and see, come and see.

namaste and shalom,

love and light,

Stuart

Spiritual Intent

2008-07-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

Why do we do anything that we do? Are we purposeless creatures or is there meaning to our lives and our actions? Since World War Two the existentialist movement very successfully convinced many people that the world is a farce, that nothing matters. This was in marked contrast to the previous idea that God was in charge of the world, directing everything. Certainly the carnage of World War Two, even worse than the first World War, made it hard to stomach a God who could be directing such events.

What if neither position was true. Neither God in charge nor meaninglessness. How can we understand that? Jewish law or Halacha tried to help people to be spiritual by telling them what prayer to say for every possible moment of life. The problem for many was that it was done without any inner fire or meaning so that the practice did not bring about a spiritual experience, but its opposite. Many individuals left Judaism because they didn't want to be told what to do, how and when. Kabbalah or Jewish mysticism was an attempt to support the laws and prayers with an inner meaning.

If you read Kabbalistic literature you see that many pious individuals suffered from pride. They were more spiritual than you were, they were more perfect in how they conformed to law and prayer, they were closer to God. Using religion to show off is not spiritual and so an idea came into being, that the kavanah or spiritual intent behind your piety was more important than the letter of observance.

The highest spiritual intent was called Lishma. The next highest was called Lo Lishma or not Lishma. Even approaching Lishma was good. Lishma means for Her sake. This is the secret to unlock Kabbalah. The Her in Her sake is the Divine Presence or Schechinah, the female aspect of God that is in hiding or exile in this world. In other words, the entire purpose of Jewish Law and Halacha, and of Jewish prayer is to restore the Divine Feminine back to the world. Who knew? Judaism is secretly a Goddess religion. Because Judaism is a living religion that evolves as human culture evolves Judaism is still connected to the depths of the human soul where the Schechinah nourishes, loves, and inspires. Unlike other Patriarchal religions Judaism actually resurrected the Divine Feminine but did it secretly. The time for secrets is over.

The purpose of life, of being spiritual is to get at the truth. The truth is at the heart of what it means to be a human being. The truth is who we are, why we exist, and why it does matter very much what we do.

Lishma is the other side of Tzim Tzum. Tzim Tzum is the idea that God withdrew to create a vacumn prior to creation. This means that God determined the parameters of creation, creating a world where the laws of physics created life on earth, and then sentient beings without Divine meddling at every step. The consciousness of the Divine Presence is hidden and she is female, the Schechinah. The way to make our lives purposeful and to give meaning to an apparently meaningless world is to seek her and to find her and rescue her.

What is most unique about my creation of Tantric Kabbalah is my using and applying the concept of Lishma to my own sexuality. My sex life is my worship life. Soon my manuscript Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service will be available. That is the story of the creation of Tantric Kabbalah.

namaste and shalom, I love you,

Stuart

The Great Mother, As if ...

2008-07-22T21:56:00.000-07:00

It is a wonderful advantage for a thinker to be Jewish. It is no coincidence that so many Jews have won the Nobel prize despite Jews making up less than one percent of the world's population. In my manuscript Everywoman a Goddess: Everyman a Hero in Her Service, I have written about many of the Jewish ideas that I love most. Amongst them are Teshuvah (returning to the correct path), Lishma (for Her sake, where the Her is the Schechinah), and the Schechinah herself the concept that Divinity is female. As if is another beloved Jewish idea.

Every child who goes to a Passover seder is told the story of the Exodus from Egypt not as a history lesson but As if they themselves were there. A Passover seder is a personal experience of slavery, the plagues, the parting of the sea of reeds, and escape into freedom. As if is a brilliant imaginative mechanism that opens a child's mind to new possibilities. It is one of the first kabbalistic ideas that Jewish children receive without knowing it.

There are many traditional and observant Jews who would view some of my ideas as heretical. I am a Jewish Goddess worshipper trying to bring the Divine Feminine back into the world but even my critics must admit that I use very old and deep Jewish ideas in my service to the Schechinah. Now I will apply As if to the Great Mother.

Every human being alive now and who has ever lived has had a mother. This is not a trite statement. Our mothers carry us inside their very selves for nine months at great risk to their lives. No heroic action is greater than being a mother. Not only do our mothers give us life they give us love. We learn unconditional love from our mothers. We mirror them when we love someone else, when we nurture, when we care. While our DNA is half from our mother and our father, every drop in every cell in our bodies reflects our mothers flesh and blood.

I can remember in my mind's eye and feel in my heart the love my mother showered upon me when I was little. Anywhere you look you can see little boys who love their mothers, returning the love they are given. What happens to these little boys? Why are there so few men as capable of loving as boys who love effortlessly. Somewhere in the process of becoming a man, many boys repudiate their mother and their mothers love. For some reason Jewish boys seem relatively immune to this process. Most Jewish men love their mothers the same way they did when they were boys. Sometimes this is a subject for deprecatory humor but many women select Jewish men as lovers and husbands because they still love their mother and therefore are capable of loving. Most Jewish men are less violent too out of this love.

When I use As if in the remembering and experience of all the love I have received over the course of my fifty one years, except for my father and uncles, all the nurturing caring love I received was from women. In my heart it feels As if there is a continuity from the love I received from my mother, with the love I received from all my lovers, from the 14 year love relationship with my former beloved, all the way through the love I currently receive from my tantric crone goddess. All this love feels the same, As if there has only been one lover my entire life, reaching out to me, pouring out upon my head this great and wonderful love.

Love is not a finite thing, or a thing at all. Love is a mysterious and wondrous experience that flows through the human heart without originating there. The greatest cynics are former romantics who have been hurt in love. It is very sad to see someone whose heart has been broken, and who no longer experiences love. We are weak and frail in our human form and without intending it we hurt others and are hurt by others. Sometimes that experience makes us not believe in love anymore and think that being in love is almost a form of mental illness.

In truth the love we experience is real and comes to us from beyond our individual selves. When a conduit of love closes for us, the love we experienced is still there, out there, somewhere, waiting for a new conduit to open to us. Love is personal, the most personal of all experiences, yet it is also transcendent at the same time. Love moves us beyond our own individuality and our own limitations.

The great kabbalist Isaac Luria taught in the story Bread of Shame, that the purpose that underlies all of creation is to give and receive love. The love that you receive and the love you give both flow through your heart. For love to flow there must be giving and receiving, both are necessary. It is this flow of love thats restores the sacred sparks that lie hidden in the dust, dirt, and shame of our world. The flow of love is what heals shame.

A closed heart can not be a conduit for this Divine Love. Open your hearts and allow the Schechinah to give love to the world through your heart. Open your hearts and allow yourself to receive the love of others that she is sending to you. The reason that time and space exist is to allow humans to freely give and receive love. The rest is commentary, go and learn.

namaste and shalom, love and light,

Stuart

In my

ORGASM

2008-07-16T23:58:00.000-07:00

It is just past midnight and I am looking out the window of the twenty seventh floor of the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas as my tantric crone goddess gets to rest and sleepfully recover from the rigors of her prolonged and continuous orgasms. It is a true measure of how far our society is from the Divine Feminine, the Schechinah, the Goddess, that an open and direct discussion of orgasm is perhaps the most taboo subject in our society. We can watch movies about violence, we can talk about torture in the name of national security but somehow understanding orgasm is too unsettling, too far from the norm to even talk about let alone experience.

It is not just our society that feels that way. Greek myth shows us that even though they were so much closer in time to a Goddess ruled society the authors of the Greek myths were no more comfortable than we are. The God Zeus and Goddess Hera were arguing about who received the greater pleasure from sex. Hera knew that women did but did not want Zeus to know that so she argued the opposite. Disinformation goes back a long way.

Tireseus a priest of Zeus was transformed into a woman and lived as a woman for between seven to ten years in different versions of the story. Upon returning to male form Tireseus informed Zeus that of the pleasures of sexuality women received nine parts out of ten. Hera was so mad about Zeus learning this that she blinded Tireseus. Zeus was powerless to overturn Hera's punishment so he compensated Tireseus by making him a prophet. The blind prophet leads Odysseus into Hades so he can learn how to overcome Penelope's suitors after a twenty year absence divided between the Trojan War and the Odyssey.

We have learned from modern science some intriquing aspects of orgasm. First it has been known for a long time that orgasm requires both the maximal functioning of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. These are not under conscious control but are experienced as fight or flight, or protect and conserve. When I was in medical school I was taught that only orgasm united these two opposite neurological systems. New work by D'Aquili and Newburg discovered that during meditation that leads to the experience of mystical union with the Divine, the same union of opposites take place within the brain. They proposed that the spiritual experience is derived from the sexual experience evolutionarily within the brain.

Orgasm in many ways is the main focus of my lifelong study. Specifically because it ties together so many different aspects of being a human being. The difference between the orgasms of men and women are essential to understand. Male orgasm is tied to ejaculation and is a brief and intense experience. As soon as boys start to masturbate they learn to orgasm and ejaculate. For young girls growing into womanhood, orgasm is not so simple.

Perhaps the best way to understand this is to look at healthy versus unhealthy sexuality. As a former sex addict who has learned sex with intimacy and then sacred sexualtiy I will share the essential difference. Briefly addictive sex is sex with fear, where the primary mediator in the brain and blood is adrenaline. Your heart beats thunderously and your arousal results in a tremendous explosion. Neither intimacy or feelings are required. Once sexual release occurs the addict will act like a coyote in a trap and chew off his paw to escape. Tragically just like devotees of roller coaster thrills more and more extreme situations are required to maintain the same level of arousal.

Sex with intimacy requires knowing and being known, requires honesty, and the sharing of love. The situation integrates both adrenaline like arousal and simultaneously feelings of safety and love for the female orgasm to take place. It is the release of oxytocin in the hypothalamus and blood that dominates. This is a very important and magical experience that literally rewires the brain. More than any other experience, this is what makes a woman feel and know in a gnostic way that she is beautiful and loved. Everywoman needs and deserves to feel this way.

To be frank I worship and adore the female orgasm. This is not because I am sexually deviant but because the transformative and transcendent experience of multiple and then prolonged and continuous orgasms are so profound. This is where the realm of sacred sexuality and sex magic begins. It is truly the joining of souls and simultaneously joins the human with the Divine. It is the female aspect of Divinity the Schechinah who enters this union. The intentional union of spirituality and sexuality has the potential to evolutionarily transform humanity and our history.

Hopefully my manuscript will be available soon for purchase and download for those whose interest has been stimulated.

namaste and shalom,

Stuart

Crone Goddess

2008-07-10T20:59:00.000-07:00

Crone Goddess? What does that mean, is that an oxymoron like guest host, or jumbo shrimp. The word crone brings to mind the hag from snow white bearing a poisoned apple, and the word Goddess brings to mind Aphrodite appearing on the surf in her beauty and glorious sexuality. So what does Crone Goddess mean?

The Goddess appears in different forms that correspond to the stages of a woman's life: maiden, mother and crone. Human beings are different from all other animals in that women experience menopause, a cessation of their fertility that does not prevent them from being sexually active. If you look at it evolutionarily the crone stage of a woman's life is the completion of human sexualtity's evolution: separating sex from procreation. A fertile woman can only become pregnant 2.5 days out of 29.5 while she can be sexually active that entire time. This is completely different from estrus in animals where sexual intercourse only takes place when the females are ovulating. The crone can always be sexual without worrying about pregnancy.

Crone Goddess. It is not an oxymoron but a change in perception. Before writing and before computers wisdom was passed on from one generation to the next through the oldest living members of the tribe. That was always the oldest women. The word crone actually means wise woman. Without getting credit for it the crones of our species throughout the last 190,000 years created human culture and enabled human survival. We all owe our lives to the crones who went before us. Now how does this relate to the sexuality of the Goddess?

To understand this we have to understand that sexuality is not something that only involves bodies, it also involves souls. The part of the soul that is important to this discussion is the Ruach, the soulfulness that you create over the entire length of your life. It is this part of your soul that can reach out and touch another person's soul. This is how human beings communicate psychically because you do not have to be in the same place or time for your souls to touch.

Now if sex magic and sacred sexuality involves soulful sexuality , sexuality that takes place between one person's Ruach and another person's Ruach, you can see that someone who has lived a long soulful life and has a powerfully developed soul will be better at this than a young person who has just started to make Ruach. This is the secret behind the Crone Goddess and why Crone Goddesses are so powerful at sex magic, at unifying Tiferet and Schechinah, the Divine male and female. That is why after menopause many women find that their sexual desire and their ability to orgasm becomes so much greater. This change happens because it is meant to happen because it is the result of evolution. Crone Goddesses and their magical healing orgasms are central to the evolutionary change that humans must go through in order to stay here on this planet. Crone Goddesses and their magical healing orgasms are essential to the evolving human cultural changes that must bring peace to our planet and restore the Divine Feminine to our world.

Goddess Healing

2008-07-02T12:18:00.000-07:00

How can healing take place? Since science and spirituality must be part of a comprehensive whole then there must be a mechanism. When I meditate or when I meditate and perform sex magic I unify the Divine male energy Tiferet and the Divine Female energy Schechinah into a new spiritual substance: the Integrated and Unified light of Tiferet and Schechinah. Where does this take place?

The reason this unification can take place is because human beings and the Divine energies are part of each other, are contiguous with each other, have the same substance. The part of us as human beings where this takes place is not within our bodies but in the higher levels of our souls our ruach and neshamah. This unified Divine Light that illuminates or enlightens our soul can now be shared with other souls very easily. That is the mechanism of Goddess healing. The Goddess or Divine Feminine or Schechinah is the part of the Divine that is closest to the Human soul.

Human souls are much closer to each other than they are to the Goddess. It is easier to connect with other human souls than it is to the Divine. For this reason many people experience psychic phenomenon with other people whom they love. This is especially true at the time of death. Many people who have no training or no prior experienced psychic abilities have the experience of knowing or feeling a visit from someone they love just at the moment of death.

Because of this closeness between human souls it means that when a human being does make true contact with the Goddess and through her the Divine energies, that this human soul can then transfer this energy to other souls. This is the underlying science that makes Goddess Healing possible. I have been sending out this Divine Light, the Integrated and Unified Light of Tiferet and Schechinah to my family, loved ones and friends for many years. Sometimes it just makes people feel loved. Sometimes it helps to improve or ameliorate a physical illness, sometimes it brings inspiration or creativity and sometimes it helps people to pass over.

I am offering to send this Divine Light to anyone who comes to this blog and requests it from me by sending an e mail to this site. If you desire this let me know your name, some distinquishing characteristics, where you live, and what healing you desire. namaste and shalom, Stuart

Initial Blog

2008-06-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

Hello Goddesses and their worshippers. This is my initial blog. The purpose is to arouse interest in my manuscript and the ideas contained within her. The Goddess has been under attack and banishment for the last 7,000 years of Patriarchal control. These slurs makes it really difficult to understand the Goddess. Luckily she is a consciousness that continuously reaches out to us from our innermost depths. We live in an age when so many different realms of knowledge, scientific, spiritual and sexual are coming together. These have the potential to bring her back into the world. The access for her to return is our own consciousness that touches her. Evidence of her contact is creativity, love, and humility manifesting in our lives. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to express yourselves and ask questions. love and light, Stuart Mark Berlin